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Stomp the Bullying

May 13, 2011 By 1 Comment

Bullying is one of the biggest epidemics we face in our society.  Although it’s a major problem for children and young adults, adults also deal with bullying behavior.  The act of bullying encompasses aggressive behavior that is intentional and that involves an imbalance of power or strength. Typically, it’s repeated over time.

 

There are many forms of bullying including: hitting, punching, kicking, pushing, etc. (physical bullying); teasing or name calling (verbal bullying); intimidation using gestures or social exclusion (non-verbal bullying or emotional bullying); and sending insulting messages through e-mail, text messages, facebook, etc. (cyber bullying).

 

Are you aware of this on-going problem?  It’s in the news regularly.  We hear of teenagers committing suicide because of bullying.  Children are haunted by bullying daily and many times it goes unnoticed by parents, teachers, and other authorities.  Other times, it may be noticed, but nothing is done about it.  Only 20% of children who are bullied actually tell their parents.  Parents, I’m sure you have found out that nobody does anything to help your bullied child.  They say they do, but they don’t.  I’ve talked with some parents whose children are being bullied.  They’ve gone through all the proper channels of the school system and nothing is being done.

 

Pennsylvania is among the top five states where bullying is at its highest peak.  The other four include California, New York, Illinois, and Washington.  Statistics show that 160,000 children fear attending school each day because of intimidation and humiliation suffered at the hands of bullies. Bullying causes psychological harm, self-esteem damage and other lasting effects for victims.

 

I, too, have been a victim of bullying.  As a child in Jr. High and High school I was a victim of bullies on some occasions.  I was small and quiet so I had a few bullies pick on me, call me names and sometimes even push me around.  They thought it was funny.  I took a lot of it and I never told anybody at the time.

 

What got me through those bullying situations was my martial arts training.  Most people have a false perception of martial arts.  They think it’s about fighting and teaching kids to fight.  Wrong.  It’s about not fighting.  Yes, we teach children to stand up for themselves and to stand up for what’s right, but we teach them to be kind, to have self-control, self-discipline, respect, focus, and to always do the right thing.  We teach them how to talk themselves out of bullying situations.  Getting physical is ALWAYS last resort and we teach children how to go about that.

 

Because of my martial arts training, I had self-confidence and a healthy self-esteem, so I didn’t let the bullying damage that.  It made me see the situations in a logical frame of mind and not a fantasy frame of mind that produces a distorted perception.  With that said, I was able to ignore it at times and walk away from it at times without it bothering me.  Other times I was able to use verbal Judo to diffuse the situations.  Many bullies went on to someone else because they saw that it wasn’t bothering me.  Bullies look for people who are vulnerable, who are weak.  When they see they are getting to the victim the bullies feel power.  They don’t want to bully people who aren’t bothered by it and who are going to stand up for themselves. There were times where I had to physically protect myself against bullies, but it was always last resort.  When I stood up for myself the bullies left me alone.

 

Since bullying is becoming worse and worse I am stepping up in my community by creating a Stomp the Bullying campaign under the direction of my instructor Sean Kelley (www.seankelley.com) and the Guardian Angels (www.guardianangels.org) where my school Miller’s Kenpo Karate Dojo (www.millersdojo.com) has now become a “martial arts safe place” and official Guardian Angels training facility.  I am creating a volunteer community service program called The Guardian Angels Anti-Bullying Leadership program where I will teach members of our community the importance of servicing our community, how to be good citizens, and how to be good role models.  I will also educate students of this program about all aspects of bullying, and how to handle bullying situations whether they themselves are being bullied or they witness somebody else being bullied.

 

They will learn what bullying really entails, the warning signs of both a bully and someone being bullied, the risk factors, how not to be a target of a bully, common myths about bullying, statistics, and what they can do as citizens to “Stomp the Bullying.”  Also a part of the program will be some self-defense training including awareness, having a logical mindset, verbal Judo, and some physical restraint holds and personal protection methods.

 

This program is a four month program that children ages 7 and up can participate in along with their parents, as well as any adult community member, whether a parent or not.  This program is for children, young adults (teenagers) and adults.  Even if you are an adult who is already well educated in servicing our community we still want you.  The child requirements are to meet during the scheduled times (once per week) at my school Miller’s Kenpo Karate Dojo, do in house community service projects, march in parades, and be good youth role models for members of the society.  You must maintain good grades in school as well.  For adults, your requirements are to meet during the same scheduled times, do local community service projects when we get the opportunity, and be positive role models in our community.  Once the four months is up we will have a graduation ceremony where the children will become Jr. Angels and the adults will become Guardian Angels. Once you become a Guardian Angel you will become leaders for the program, and I will start it all over with new people.

 

My instructor Sean Kelley from Florida who is a 25 year veteran of the Guardian Angels, an International martial arts and self-defense instructor, bodyguard, and is heavy into the security business, will be at my school along with self-defense and tactical firearms instructor Buddy Morrison from Tennessee to assist me with a FREE bullying seminar open to anybody in the community.  This will be held on Friday, May 20, 2011 at Miller’s Kenpo Karate Dojo located at 443 East Main Street in Bradford, Pa from 6:00 – 6:45pm.  We will talk about the program during the seminar for those who are interested.  If you are unable to attend the seminar, but are interested in the program call me at 814-368-3725 or e-mail me at michael.miller@millersdojo.com.

 

About the Author:

 

Michael Miller is a self-defense and personal protection expert who holds a 4th degree black belt in American Kenpo – a modern practical self-defense system, and also teaches boxing, kickboxing, Joe Lewis Fighting Systems, and Gracie Barra Jiu-Jitsu.  He’s an ex caseworker for McKean County Children and Youth Services where he worked with child development, child abuse and neglect, assessing risk, and became certified in the state of Pennsylvania as a Child Welfare Direct Service Worker.  He’s an authority on bullying and how to prevent it and has been featured in Inside Kung-fu and Black Belt magazines numerous times as an expert in his field.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Adult Kenpo Program, Blog/Articles, Junior Helpers, Junior Program, Kenpo Kids Program, Latest news, Member Articles, Parents

Sexual Assault Awareness

April 7, 2011 By Leave a Comment

April is sexual assault awareness month.  It was an honor for me to teach a free self-defense seminar for the local YWCA on April 6.  The seminar went very well and we had around 25 in attendance.  I taught some simple, effective movements to escape from a couple possible wrist grabs and a couple chokes.  Because this is sexual assault awareness month I wanted to write an article about this topic. Included in my article is information I came across about this topic.

 

Sexual assault takes many forms.  It is any unwanted sexual contact including rape, attempted rape, and child sexual abuse.  It can affect people of any gender, age, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or ability. According to the National Violence Against Women Survey, 1 in 6 American women has been the victim of rape or attempted rape.

 

Perpetrators of sexual assault can be friends, acquaintances, family members, or strangers.  People off all walks of life can be a perpetrator.  It doesn’t matter how intelligent a person is, how well he dresses, how much money he makes, or how nice he is.  Always keep your eyes open for warning signs.

The exact definition of “rape,” “sexual assault,” “sexual abuse” and similar terms differs by state. The wording can get confusing, since states often use different words to mean the same thing, or use the same words to describe different things. So, for a precise legal definition, you need to check the law in your state. But here are some general guidelines based on the definitions used by the U.S. Justice Department. Please note that these definitions are a bit graphic, which is inevitable when describing crimes this violent.

Rape is forced sexual intercourse, including vaginal, anal or oral penetration. Penetration may be by a body part or an object.

Rape victims may be forced through threats or physical means. In about 8 out of 10 rapes, no weapon is used other than physical force. Anyone may be a victim of rape: women, men or children, straight or gay.

Sexual assault is unwanted sexual contact that stops short of rape or attempted rape. This includes sexual touching and fondling. (But, be aware: Some states use this term interchangeably with rape.)

Sexual assault can take the form of:

  • Harassment
  • Exposing/flashing
  • Forcing a person to pose for sexual pictures
  • Fondling
  • Unwanted sexual touching

In the most extreme cases, sexual assault may involve force which may include but is not limited to:

  • Use or display of a weapon
  • Physical battering
  • Immobilization of the victim

More often, however, sexual assault involves psychological coercion and taking advantage of an individual who is under duress or incapacitated and, therefore, incapable of making a decision on his/her own (including under the influence of alcohol, drugs and/or prescription medications).

Sexual assault is a crime motivated by a need to control, humiliate and harm. Perpetrators use sexual assault as a weapon to hurt and dominate others.

Common Reactions to Sexual Assault Include:

  • Shock
  • Numbness
  • Loss of control
  • Disorientation
  • Helplessness
  • Sense of vulnerability
  • Fear
  • Self-blame/guilt for “allowing” the crime to happen
  • Feeling that these reactions are a sign of weakness

 

If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual assault please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (800-656-4673) to be connected to the rape crisis center near you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, or visit www.rainn.org for more information.

 

The National Sexual Violence Resource Center can provide you with more information on sexual assault and help you find assistance in your local area.  Visit www.nsvrc.org or call 877-739-3895.

 

(Below is a good article I found and wanted to share)

 

What is Sexual Assault?

Most often when people hear the words “sexual assault” they think of rape. One might automatically picture a stranger jumping out of the bushes to rape a woman walking home from work late at night. While it is true that rape by a stranger is a form of sexual assault, it is vital to include the wide range of unwanted sexual contacts that many people experience in our definition of these words. Sexual assault can include child sexual abuse, rape, attempted rape, incest, exhibitionism, voyeurism, obscene phone calls, fondling, and sexual harassment. There is a range of nonconsensual sexual acts that create a continuum in which each form of sexual assault is linked to the others by their root causes, as well as by the effects they have on individuals and communities. While sexual assault can take many forms, it is important to remember that the loss of power and control that a victim of sexual assault experiences is a common thread.

Child sexual abuse can be defined as any situation in which an adult or another child threatens, forces or manipulates a child into sexual activity. Many times the offender doesn’t need to use physical force with the victim. Instead, they take advantage of their own position of trust and authority. Child sexual abuse can include exposing a child to pornography, fondling the sexual parts of a child’s body, making a child engage in sexual activity with others, and sexually penetrating a child, orally, anally or vaginally with the penis, hand or any object. Incest is intercourse or touching of sexual parts between an adult family member and a child or between siblings.

Rape is any sexual intercourse with a person without his or her consent. It is an act of violence that uses sex as a weapon. There are many different types of rape that are important to distinguish as well. Stranger rape happens when the victim does not know his or her offender. Many people believe that this type of rape only happens to women who dress a certain way, walk alone at night, or park in parking garages. The reality of stranger rape is that it happens during the day and at night, to people from all different walks of life, and in lots of different places.

Acquaintance rape describes a rape in which the victim and the perpetrator are known to each other. The perpetrator might be a partner, coworker, best friend or neighbor. Did you know that this is the most common type of rape? 84 percent of rapes happen among people who know one another. Most of the time a person is raped by someone they know, trust, or love.

Date rape is a specific kind of acquaintance rape, referring to a rape that occurs between two people who are dating partners. Often times the victim is emotionally manipulated or coerced into having sex with his or her partner. Marital rape, one of the least talked about forms of sexual assault, is rape between husband and wife. Because of personal and societal barriers to reporting marital rape, its prevalence is probably higher than we are aware.

Sexual harassment is any unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature. Sexual harassment often manifests itself in subtle ways, such as sexually suggestive comments, unwanted touching, risqué jokes, or blatant demand for sexual contact. In most cases, these actions take place within work or educational settings where both the offender and the victim are required to be in close contact.

There are many types of sexual assault. It is important to understand the differences between them, as well as how they are linked together. Unfortunately, because of the silence that surrounds sexual assault, there have been many myths created over time to help explain why it happens and who it happens to. We often hear things like “only women can be raped”, “a husband can’t rape his wife”, “she asked for it by wearing those shorts”, and “that child must be lying – his father is a good man.” We know that these things are not true. Both women and men can be sexually assaulted. Rape can occur within a marriage. A victim never asks to be raped and is never to blame for behavior of the perpetrator. People who sexually assault are often people who go to church, have good jobs, and are well liked by their community.

Common Effects of Sexual Assault

Victims of sexual assault often experience a number of common effects. These may include:

  • Flashbacks
  • Nightmares
  • Difficulty falling or staying asleep
  • Anger and rage
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Hypervigilence
  • Anxiety and panic
  • Self-blame, guilt, and shame
  • Emotional numbing
  • Physical symptoms and health problems

What to Do if Someone You Know is Sexually Assaulted

Believe them. A person has very little to gain by making up a story about sexual assault.

  • Listen to them. A victim of sexual assault needs someone who will listen to what they have to say without blame or judgment.
  • Do not tell them what to do. A person who has been sexually assaulted has had every ounce of power and control stripped from them. They only way they are going to gain that power back is by making decisions for themselves.
  • Give them information, provide them options, but don’t tell them what to do. A great place to get information is your local sexual assault center.

[end article]

Earlier in my article I mentioned “warning signs.”  Below is a write up I found to be extremely accurate.  This list is about the signs of how to predict if someone may be physically abusive.  Women do not want to be in physically abusive relationships.  So, women, pay VERY close attention to the following signs of a physically abusive man.

   

1.Jealousy: At the beginning of a relationship, an abuser will always say that jealousy is a sign of love: jealousy has nothing to do with love, it is a sign of insecurity and possessiveness.  The abuser will question her about who she talks to, accuse her of flirting, or be jealous of time she spends with family, friends, or children. As the jealousy progresses, the abuser may call her repeatedly at work (or home) or drop by unexpectedly. The abuser may refuse to let her work for fear she will meet someone else, or exhibit other strange behaviors (like checking her car mileage or asking friends to watch her).


2.Controlling Behavior: At first the batterer will say that this behavior is because of concern for the woman’s safety, her need to use her time well, or her need to make good decisions. The abuser will be angry if the woman is “late” coming back from the store or an appointment, or will question her closely about where she went, and who she talked to.  As this behavior gets worse, the abuser may not let the women make personal decisions about the house, her clothing or going to church, may keep all the money or even require she ask permission to leave the house or room.
3. Quick Involvement: Many battered women dated or knew their abuser for less than six months before they were engaged or living together.  The abuser comes on like a whirlwind, “you are the only person I could ever talk to, I have never felt loved like this by anyone.” The abuser’s need is desperate and will pressure the woman to commit to the relationship.
4.Unrealistic Expectations:  The abuser becomes dependent on the woman for all needs. He expects her to be the perfect wife, mother, lover, and friend. The abuser will say things like “If you love me, I am all you need, you are all I need.”  The woman is automatically expected to know each emotional and physical need of the abuser.
5.Isolation: The abuser attempts to isolate the woman from all personal and social resources.  If she has men friends, she is a “whore”; if she has women friends, she is a lesbian; if she is close to family, she is tied to apron strings.  The abuser claims that people who are supportive of her are troublemakers and may want to live in the country without a phone, or may not let her use the car, or try to keep her from working or going to school.


6.Blames Others for Problems: If the abuser is chronically unemployed, it is always someone else’s fault.  The abuser may make mistakes and then blame the woman for being distracting or upsetting.  The woman may be blamed for anything that goes wrong.
7.Blames Others for own Feelings: The abuser will tell the woman “you make me mad,” “you’re hurting me by not doing what I ask,” “I can’t help being angry.”  The abuser will use feelings to manipulate the woman. Harder to recognize are claims such as “you make me happy”.  The message in each case is “you control how I feel”.
8.Hypersensitivity: The abuser is easily insulted and claims that feelings are “hurt” when actually s/he’s really angry, or the abuser interprets the slightest setbacks as personal attacks.  The abuser will “rant and rave” about the injustice of things that have happened – things that are really just part of living like being asked to work overtime, getting a traffic ticket, being told that something he does is annoying, being asked to help with chores.


9.Cruelty to Animals or Children: The batterer may punish animals brutally or be insensitive to their pain; or may expect children to be capable of doing things far beyond their ability (whips a two year old for wetting their diaper) or may tease young children until they cry. (60% of men who beat their partners, also beat their children). The abuser may refuse to interact with the children by not allowing them to eat at the table or expecting them to stay in their rooms in the evenings.
10.”Playful” Use of Force in Sex : The abuser may like to throw the woman down and hold her during sex, or may want to act out fantasies during sex where the woman is helpless. The idea of rape may excite the abuser. The abuser may show little concern about whether the woman wants to have sex and use sulking or anger to manipulate her into compliance. The abuser may start having sex with the woman while she is sleeping, or demand sex when she is ill or tired.
11.Verbal Abuse:  In addition to saying things that are meant to be cruel and hurtful, the abuser may verbally degrade the woman by cursing her or diminishing her accomplishments.  The abuser may tell her that she’s stupid and unable to function on her own.  This may involve waking her up to verbally abuse her or not letting her sleep.
12.Rigid Sex Roles:  The batterer expects a woman to serve him; and may require that she stay at home, that she obey in all things – even things that are criminal in nature. The abuser sees women as inferior, and unable to be a whole person without a relationship.


13. Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde:  Many women are confused by their abuser’s sudden change in mood — they will describe the abuser’s behavior as “nice” one minute, but the next minute “explosive” or “crazy”.  Explosiveness and mood swings are typical of batterers and are related to other characteristics such as hypersensitivity.
14.Past Battering:  The batterer may admit to hitting previous partners, but will blame their partner for provoking the attacks. The woman may hear from relatives or ex-spouses of previous abuse. The fact is, a batterer will beat any partner: situational circumstances do not make a person abusive.
15. Threats of Violence: This would include any threat of physical force meant to control the woman. “I’ll slap your mouth off,” “I’ll kill you,” “I’ll break your neck.”  Most intimate partners do not threaten their mates, but a batterer will try to excuse this behavior by saying “everybody talks like that”.
16. Breaking or Striking Objects:  This behavior is used as punishment (breaking loved possessions), but is mostly used to terrorize the woman into submission.  The abuser may beat on tables with fists, throw objects around or near the woman. Again, this is remarkable behavior in that only immature people beat on objects in the presence of other people in order to threaten them.
17. Any Force During an Argument : This may involve a batterer holding a woman down, physically restraining her from leaving the room, or pushing or shoving. (The abuser may hold the woman against a wall and say “you’re going to listen to me”.

 

The Commission on Domestic Violence

WARNING – WARNING – WARNING

How your abuser can discover your Internet activities.

(a) e-mail: if your abuser has access to your e-mail account, he or she may be able to read your incoming or outgoing mail.  If you believe your account is secure, make sure you choose a password he or she will not be able to guess.  You can have your password changed!

If your abuser sends you threatening or harassing e-mail messages, they may be printed and saved as evidence of this abuse.  Additionally, the messages may constitute a federal offense.  For more information, contact your local United States Attorneys Office.

(b) history / cache file: if your abuser knows how to read your computer’s history or cache file (automatically saved web pages and graphics), he or she may be able to see information you have viewed recently on the Internet.

You can clear your history or empty your cache file in your browser’s settings.

  • Netscape – Pulldown Edit menu, select Preferences.  Click on Navigator and choose ‘Clear History’.  Click on Advanced then Select Cache.  Click on ‘Clear Disk Cache’.
  • Microsoft Explorer – Pulldown View menu, Select Internet Options.  On General Page, under Temporary Internet Files, click on ‘Delete Files’.  Under History click on “Clear History”.
  • AOL – Pulldown Members menu, select Preferences.  Click on WWW icon. Select Advanced.  Select Purge Cache.
    Very Important!
  • Windows 95/98 ReCycle Bin – Right click on Desktop Icon for Trash or ReCycle and Select “Empty ReCycle Bin”.

 

Information by American Bar Association, 750 N. Lake Shore Dr., Chicago, Ill 60611  312/988-5000

RAPE Myths and Facts (done by Roger Williams University)

Myth: Rape is caused by lust or uncontrollable sexual urges and the need for sexual gratification.

Fact: Rape is an act of physical violence and domination that is not motivated by sexual gratification.

Myth: Once a man gets sexually aroused, he can’t just stop.

Fact: Men do not physically need to have sex after becoming sexually excited. Moreover, they are still able to control themselves after becoming aroused.

Myth: Women often lie about rape or falsely accuse someone of rape.

Fact: Statistical studies indicate false reports make up 2% or less of the reported cases of sexual assault. This figure is approximately the same for other types of crimes. Only 1 out of 10 rapes are actually reported. Rapes by someone the victim knows are the least likely to be reported.

Myth: Women provoke sexual assault by their appearance. Sexual attractiveness is a primary reason why a rapist selects a victim.

Fact: Rapists do not select their victims by their appearance. They select victims who are vulnerable and accessible. Victims of sexual assault range in age groups from infants to the elderly. Sexual attractiveness is not an issue.

Myth: Sexual assault is a topic that only concerns women, and men do not have to be concerned about sexual assault.

Fact: According to recent rape crisis center statistics, men, both straight and gay, suffered 10% of the sexual assaults reported in the US last year. (Almost all were raped by other men.) In addition, men have wives, friends, sisters, mothers, and daughters who may someday need assistance in coping with sexual assault. Rape is a concern for everyone.

Myth: If a woman really did not want to be raped, she could fight off her attacker.

Fact: Even if the rapist is not carrying a weapon, the element of surprise, shock, and fear, or the threat of harm can overpower a survivor.

Facts About Date Rape

Here are some data collected from a national study of college students:

  • 1 in 4 college women have either been raped or suffered attempted rape.
  • 84% of the women who are raped knew their assailants.
  • 57% of the rapes occurred on a date.
  • Women ages 16-24 have 4 times higher risk of being raped than any other population group.
  • 1 in 12 male students surveyed had committed acts that met the legal definition of rape.
  • 16% of male students who had committed rape took part in episodes with more than one attacker’s gang rape.
  • 75% of male students and 55% of female students involved in date rape had been drunk or using drugs.*
  • 33% of males surveyed said that they would commit rape if they could escape detection.**
  • 25% of men surveyed believed that rape was acceptable if: the woman asks the man out; or the man pays for the date; or the woman goes back to the man’s room after the date. ***

* Koss, M.P. (1988). Hidden Rape: Incidence, Prevalence and descriptive Characteristics of Sexual Aggression and Victimization in a National Sample of College Students. In Burgers, A.W. (ed.) Sexual Assault. Vol II. New York: Garland Publishing Co.

** Malamuth, N.M. (1986). Predictors of Natural Sexual Aggression. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 50, 953-962.

*** Muehlenhard, C.L., Friedman, D.E. & Thomas, C.M. (1985). Is Date Rape Justifiable? Psychology of Women Quarterly, 9, 297-310

Facts About Sexual Assault
  • 1 out of 4 women is sexually assaulted at some point in her life.
  • 1 out of 6 men is sexually assaulted at some point in his life.
  • Every 15 seconds a woman is beaten by her husband or boyfriend. (FBI Uniform Crime Report, 1991)
  • 2-4 million women are abused every year. (American Medical Association)
  • 95-98% of victims of domestic violence are women. (Bureau of Statistics)
  • Approximately 25% of all women in the U.S. will be abused by current or former partners some time during their lives. (American Medical Association)
  • 82.8% of sexual assaults occur before the victim reaches the age of 25.
  • 78% of sexual assault victims were assaulted by someone they knew.
  • Up to 57% of rapes happened on a date.
  • Over 66% of sexual assault victims reported NO visible physical injuries.
  • Over 50% of victims and 70% of assailants had used drugs or alcohol prior to the assault..
  • Fewer than 20% of crimes of sexual violence are reported to the police.
  • Approximately 2% of acquaintance rapes are reported to the police.
  • Only 2% of reported sexual assaults have been determined to be false reports.
  • 1 in 8 college women is the victim of rape during her college years. 1 in 4 is the victim of attempted rape.
  • 95% of these rape victims did not report the rape to officials.
  • 25% percent of women were raped and/or physically assaulted by a current or former spouse, partner or date during their lifetime.
  • 84% of the women knew the men who raped them; 57% were on dates.

* Koss, Mary P., and C. Gedycz, and N. Wisniewski. “The Scope of Rape Incidence and Prevalence of Sexual Aggression and Victimization in a National Sample of Higher Education Students.” Journal of Consulting and Clinical psychology. 55(1987), 162-70.

** Thoennes, Nancy, and Tjaden, Patricia. “Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Violence Against Women: Findings of the National Violence Against Women Survey.” U.S. Department of Justice, November 1998.

Date rape drugs:

Gamma-hydroxybutyrate (GHB)

Slang or Street Names: Grievous Bodily Harm, G, Liquid Ecstasy, Georgia Home Boy

  • GHB can be produced in clear liquid, white powder, tablet, and capsule forms, and it is often used in combination with alcohol, making it even more dangerous. GHB has been increasingly involved in poisonings, overdoses, “ACQUAINTANCE RAPES,” and fatalities.
  • GHB is usually abused either for its intoxicating/sedative/euphoriant properties or for its growth hormone-releasing effects, which can build muscles.
  • Some individuals are synthesizing GHB in home laboratories. Ingredients in GHB, gamma-butyrolactone (GBL) and 1,4-butanediol, can also be converted by the body into GHB. These ingredients are found in a number of dietary supplements available in health food stores and gymnasiums to induce sleep, build muscles, and enhance sexual performance.
  • GHB is a central nervous system depressant that can relax or sedate the body. At higher doses it can slow breathing and heart rate to dangerous levels.
  • GHB’s intoxicating effects begin 10 to 20 minutes after the drug is taken. The effects typically last up to 4 hours, depending on the dosage. At lower doses, GHB can relieve anxiety and produce relaxation; however, as the dose increases, the sedative effects may result in sleep and eventual coma or death.
  • Overdose of GHB can occur rather quickly, and the signs are similar to those of other sedatives: drowsiness, nausea, vomiting, headache, loss of consciousness, loss of reflexes, impaired breathing, and ultimately death.
  • GHB is cleared from the body relatively quickly, so it is sometimes difficult to detect in emergency rooms and other treatment facilities.
Rohypnol

Slang or Street Names: Roofies, Rophies, Roche, Forget-me Pill

  • Rohypnol (flunitrazepam) belongs to the class of drugs known as benzodiazepines (such as Valium, Halcion, Xanax, and Versed). It is not approved for prescription use in the United States, although it is approved in Europe and is used in more than 60 countries as a treatment for insomnia, as a sedative, and as a presurgery anesthetic.
  • Rohypnol is tasteless and odorless, and it dissolves easily into carbonated beverages. The sedative and toxic effects of Rohypnol are aggravated by concurrent use of alcohol. Even without alcohol, a dose of Rohypnol as small as 1 mg can impair a victim for 8 to 12 hours.
  • Rohypnol is usually taken orally, although there are reports that it can be ground up and snorted.
  • The drug can cause profound “anterograde amnesia”; that is, individuals may not remember events that they experienced while under the effects of the drug. This may be why one of the street names for Rohypnol is “the forget-me pill” and it has been reportedly used in SEXUAL ASSAULTS.
  • Other adverse effects associated with Rohypnol include decreased blood pressure, drowsiness, visual disturbances, dizziness, confusion, gastrointestinal disturbances, and urinary retention.
Protect Yourself!

Here are some precautions you can take.

  • Don’t accept open drinks (alcoholic or non-alcoholic from others you do not know or trust; this includes drinks that come in a glass.
  • When in bars or clubs always get your drink directly from the bartender and do not take your eyes off the bartender or your order; don’t use the waitress or let somebody go to the bar for you.
  • At parties, only accept drinks in closed containers: bottles, cans, or tetra packs.
  • Never leave your drink unattended or turn your back on your table.
  • Do not drink from open beverage sources like punch bowls, pitchers, tubs or community water/juice bottles.
  • Keep your eyes and ears open; if there is talk of date rape drugs or if friends seem “too intoxicated” for what they have taken, leave the party or club immediately and don’t go back!

Sources
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, National Institutes of Health, National Institute on Drug Abuse, 6001 Executive Blvd., Room 5213, MSC 9561, Bethesda, MD 20892-9561 and http://teenadvice.about.com/

[end article]

I hope you’ve enjoyed this article.  I provided a lot of good information.  Please share it with as many women as possible.  If you ever have any questions please call me at 814-368-3725 or e-mail me at michael.miller@millersdojo.com.

About the Author:

 

Michael Miller is a self-defense and personal protection expert with intensive training in sexual assault education, violent predators, child abuse, child development and more. He’s been featured several times in Black Belt and Inside Kung-fu magazines and has been educating women and children in awareness and personal protection for over 13 years.  He is available for seminars on an array of topics to better the community.

 

Filed Under: Blog/Articles, Member Articles, Parents

Children get an Edge in Life with Karate

February 16, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Children are our future.  It’s important that they learn the values that will help them be a driving force in the lives of others through positive influence and decisions.  Although parents “should” be instilling proper values in their childrens’ lives, the truth is that children are exposed to many other sources that generally go against what their parents are teaching them.

While you as a parent might be teaching your child to share with others, you child is viewing many other children who refuse to share.  Your child then becomes confused and can be easily influenced to mimic the other children who aren’t acting in the manner in which you want your child to act.  Education and role modeling is vital.

Other sources children get exposed to outside of other children and other adults include, television, video games, books, internet, and so on.  One of the greatest ways to get your children to live up to the values you want to see in them is to get other adults and children to emulate those values.  We all want our children to have respect for others, to be kind, to share, to have good manners, to care about others, to get their homework done on time, to do their chores, to listen and follow directions, and so on.

Children learn best through copying what they see – modeling (social learning theory).  Enrolling your child in a good martial arts program is one of the best ways for your child to learn about respect, discipline, self-control, kindness, focus, health and fitness and much more.

I came across an article a friend of mine (5th degree black belt) wrote about children and Karate.  For this blog I decided to share the article with you.  It’s a great article.

–Michael Miller

Here it is:

Children get an edge in life with karate.

By Jonathan VanCleve

Karate lessons for children have steadily increased in popularity since the mid 1980′s. Today, a large segment of the world’s martial arts practitioners are children, but it hasn’t always been that way. With the influence of television and motion pictures the martial arts have gone from being mostly a pastime studied by adults to include children as young as four.

The number of children who study karate is growing each year and this amazing growth is a testament to how well the martial arts positively impacts children’s lives. It is safe to say that children’s karate is not just a fad that will fade away with time but a permanent part of American culture and child development. I wouldn’t be surprised if one day qualified martial arts teachers were given permanent positions in elementary schools because of their uncanny ability to teach and influence children.

Some may wonder how exactly does a martial arts school get such great results from children? Can learning kicking and punching, activities that might be considered bad behavior, help children develop better behavior and increase self-esteem? To answer these questions all we have to do is look at the philosophy of the martial arts and how it’s traditions, exercises and codes of conduct are structured to not only develop the students physical abilities but to shape their character as well.

The power of influence:

Children are very impressionable and they tend to imitate what they see. The people around them influence their behavior. Musicians, actors, neighbors, or even cartoon characters have the power to influence children and these outside influences can be either negative or positive, depending on the message. A person on TV or even their own peers can make it seem cool to smoke cigarettes, use bad language, or do poorly in school and if that is the messages they are getting from people they admire the temptation to go along is very strong.

The influence of a martial arts teacher and fellow students is very positive. In the martial arts things like respect, goal attainment, and physical fitness and enthusiasm are valued. It’s considered cool to be respectful to ones elders and to get good grades. When a child’s role models and peer group are all doing positive things they have a better chance of making good choices when it comes to how they are going to behave and what they want to be like. The influence of the martial arts deeply impacts a child’s behavior and gives them a positive model of respect and self-control.

Learning to believe in your self:

Martial arts schools have very high standards for children regarding behavior and performance. To advance in rank the children are required to meet a set of standards for conduct, attitude, attendance, and performance. As children earn their ranks they are empowered with a sense of accomplishment and an attitude that they can do anything they put their minds to.

Learning new skills and achieving advancements in belt rank translates into better test scores and more completed homework assignments. By earning their ranks they also learn that they have to work hard to make their dreams come true and that they have the power to earn the things they want rather than thinking that things will be handed to them. This is empowerment for life and they are never too young to learn.

Physically fit for life:

Martial arts classes are very good exercise and children need to exercise just as adults do. Children can easily become obese especially when sedentary activities like video games and television are so entertaining and sugar filled foods taste so good. The martial arts stress the importance of physical fitness and good eating habits and high-energy workouts are a big part of the training.

Good eating and exercise habits learned in the martial arts can stay with a child for life and even set the course for their health as an adult. Some kids who are active and have no weight problems today can become overweight in their adolescence so it is important to make physical fitness a way of life at an early age.

Self-defense:

A martial arts class consists of lots of punching and kicking but the student is taught to only use their skills only for self-defense. They are taught to refrain from aggressive and negative behaviors and to practice self-control. As they learn to control their actions and attitudes they become capable of responding appropriately to the problems of life.

Bullying has become such a problem that it has been addressed in congress. It’s an unfortunate fact that most kids experience some kind of bullying. Children who study a martial art are poor targets for bullies. When a child knows how to defend himself or herself it is very difficult for a bully to hurt his or her feeling or person, they are not bothered as much by teasing and most bullies wouldn’t try to hit a child they know can fight back, bullies usually leave these kids alone and target a less -confident child who’s feeling are easily hurt and cannot fight back.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T:

In a world where being clever is valued over being kind children in the martial arts are taught self-respect and to respect others. Good martial arts students are unlikely to participate in bullying other kids or being disrespectful to their parents because respect and etiquette is emphasized in all martial arts classes. The martial arts school is one place where disrespect and misbehaving is not allowed. Words like “Yes sir.” And “No ma’am.” Are a regular part of the interaction between the instructor and the student, and the respect isn’t demanded as much as it’s given because of the admiration the kids have for their instructor and that same respectful behavior is soon demonstrated at home and school.

No matter what your reason is for enrolling your child in a martial arts school it’s a great way to teach some very important attitudes and skills that go a long way to giving a child an edge in life while they become self-disciplined and confident young ladies and gentlemen who possess the determination become a success in whatever they do.

Jonathan VanCleve is a 5th degree black belt and a professional martial arts instructor. Jonathan is also a columnist for Ma Success magazine and the manager of Nackord Karate System in King of Prussia Pennsylvania. You can contact him at jonvancleve@hotmail.com and http://www.karate99.com.

Filed Under: Junior Helpers, Member Articles, Parents, Storm Team, Uncategorized

Taking a Stand on Local Terrorism

February 16, 2011 By Leave a Comment

This is an interview article I conducted with Guardian Angels’ founder Curtis Sliwa for Inside Kung-fu magazine.  They were about to publish it when they closed their magazine down for good.  Since it didn’t get published there I wanted to share it on my Web site.  It’s a great article about local terrorism and Mr. Sliwa provides some great tips on how to tackle these problems.

Taking a Stand

Guardian Angels Founder Curtis Sliwa Provides Ways to Prevent Local Terrorism

Interview by: Michael Miller

INTRODUCTION:

Violence is an everyday occurrence around the world.  We read it in the newspapers and see it on the news daily. Rapes, murders, kidnappings, school shootings, assaults, and bullying are among the common problems we face as citizens in our communities. Perpetrators lurk the streets, schools, and internet creating havoc and increasing the fear we have for our children’s safety.

Curtis Sliwa has made a serious impact on deterring world violence since 1979 while living in the Bronx and watching his city deteriorate through drug and gang infestations.  He knew he had to do something to clean up his streets, so he took an active approach and created the Guardian Angels—a voluntary, weapon free program to take charge by patrolling the streets and making citizens arrests to create a safer environment.

The Guardian Angels began with thirteen people and has grown immensely over the past thirty years.  Aside from constantly patrolling the streets, the Guardian Angels provide education for everyday citizens to take responsibility for their environment. In this interview Sliwa talks about some of the problems we face and what we as citizens can do as preventative measures.

INSIDE KUNG-FU: Local Terrorism such as bullying, school shootings, gang violence, harassment, assaults, and abductions seems to be happening everywhere.  Can you explain why these kinds of activities occur in our society?

CURTIS SLIWA: I think today, because the way young people are brought up, they are exposed to this at younger and younger ages. There’s less supervision at home; less supervision in the community; so, often times, when they either become a bully or they become a victim, they do so at a much, much younger age and there is no intervention.  Nobody is telling them that’s right, or no it’s wrong.  [These negative behaviors are] also promoted by the culture: the rap videos, the hip hop videos, the videos that they see even from people who are successful in the business world.  They brag about how they bullied their way to the top. Like on the ‘Apprentice’ with Donald Trump. ‘You’re fired’, ‘You’re Fired.’ So they see this from the most successful people; they see this in sports, with people talking trash on the basketball court. So it just begins to affect every aspect of their life. Bullies always seem to become number one second to none and if you give into a bully, and as a victim, you just become a human speed bump.

IKF: How can we as citizens stop people from bullying us, and how can we keep from becoming a bully?

CS: I think in terms of the role modeling effect, human beings in general have to show far more humility.  We’ll call it the agony of defeat and the exaltation of triumph.  Too often now we dance on somebody’s grave; we exalt in their pain and their suffering.  We do this on so many different levels.  We need to understand the young people are absorbing all this so we have to show some humility, we have to be humble; there’s almost none of that around.

Simply at a young age we have to do intervention when we can see that a young person clearly is being affected by outside sources or the dysfunction of the home that they’re coming from. Either so much so they become inhibited, they’ve lost self-esteem, they’re introverted, or they themselves have imitated what they’ve seen and become a bully, because it’s very empowering and very exciting. So either or we have to intervene and we have to enable them to be able to change and yet still feel some of those things that excite young people.  That’s really the trick in all of that.  You know, how do you replace the excitement of being a gang member, a thug, bullying people where they’re very empowering?  You need to find something that is going to replace that and yet help them become a protector instead of a predator.

IKF: What is cyber bullying and what does it entail?

CS: Cyber bullying is just an extension of what we have seen in the school yard; what we have seen in homes across America, in neighborhoods, in parks.   And that is where young people will end up taking advantage of other young people and now can do that anonymously from the comfort of their own room.  In front of their computer or terminal they can take on various aliases, have different e-mail addresses, and now can search the networking sites.  They can literally almost stalk you, whether it’s tweeting on twitter, whether face booking, whether posting messages on message boards and virally sending images out that might be very disturbing in terms of what they are attempting to do to another person. It’s almost like a form of psychological warfare.

Cyber Angels is able to conduct that intervention, bring it to peoples attention, outsource a solution to people who deal with the subject matter—people who deal with both the victims and the bullies of cyber stalking and cyber bullying, and try to remedy it so that it doesn’t happen again; so these same people who are either victim or predator don’t fall into the same set of circumstances that triggered their either negative or passive response to begin with.

IKF: The internet seems to be a critical tool for perpetrators and bullies.  What are some things people can do to prevent their children from being bullied or targeted by these perpetrators online?

CS: First off, the main thing is to have an open line of communication with your child.  You don’t want them to just be a good news bear.  You want them to tell you bad things—the things they see.  The whole concept, if you see it, say it. Encourage the child, because they are facing an extraordinary array of pressures, an extraordinary array of peer group pressure that basically boils down to snitches get stitches and end up in ditches.  The idea is that you don’t rat anyone out.  In fact if you’re a victim, they have so perverted it, if you are a victim of bullying whether it be cyber bullying or regular old fashioned bullying maybe you deserved it because you were a punk, you were soft, you were weak.  So instead of people attempted to escape that, figuring out a way out of it, their believing that they are weak anyway and it’s survival of the fittest.

Naturally online it’s even more difficult, because a lot of parents and grandparents and adults are a dollar short and a day late when it comes to their computer skills and the kids can basically bounce rings around them when it comes to operating on the internet, or even operating on social networking sites or texting, or using any of these wireless technology that’s available.  And that’s the problem; parents, grandparents, young adults, they know about old fashioned bullying, but it’s very difficult for them to get a grip on cyber bullying and that usually impacts on children, girls, women, you know those who are most vulnerable.

IKF: Perpetrators lurk in schools, neighborhoods, streets, subways and the internet.  What can be done to identify these kinds of people and how can we as citizens take a stand?

CS: First off they have to be outed.  They cannot be allowed to remain anonymous.  They cannot be allowed to be able to operate in the shadows.  In fact, many of these bullies, those who become leaders of groups who commit these kinds of violations against humans, whether it’s cyberspace or in the normal realm of streets or neighborhoods, they do so and they get a vicarious thrill about organizing others to go out and do the deed.  They need to be outed.  Obviously, we need to put peer pressure on them and make it completely uncool to do it.  And then because some of them love to be a rebel without a cause and they love to be bad, because bad in their mind, according to the sub culture is good, then there has to be commiserate penalties.

If you’re found guilty of committing these violations you either have to face incarceration, or you’re gonna have to face spending some juvie time, or your gonna have to face some serious consequences that require you to go to counseling and then to reciprocate back to the victims or to the community by doing massive amounts of community service.  So we gotta make their lives miserable.  Right now it’s not.

IKF: It seems that the martial arts have played a key role in Guardian Angels training.  Can you explain your thoughts about the martial arts and the involvement they have had with the Guardian Angels?

CS: The martial arts has been a key when taken from it’s old school ways, which is the influence that I had from watching the seven samurai, which eventually was made into the magnificent seven, an American western that was based on the seven samurai:  Those who could defend themselves, but then offer their services to the defenseless—those who could not defend themselves.  The idea was that if you had these skills, if you were adept in martial arts and self-defense that you would use those skills not just in defense of yourself, but in defense of community and everyone else and not necessarily ask for anything in return; a form of selfless service.

Unfortunately, martial arts in the United States has gotten away from that old concept because in America everything epitomizes the individual—I and me.  They don’t think teamwork—us and we.  I have taken the concept initially that others had carried on, by applying the martial arts to group self-defense; protecting those who cannot defend themselves: the elderly, the women, the children.

Taking it to a whole different level, I would say that was the initial roots; whereas in America martial arts has become for the most part very much I and me.  You’re in the ring.  You’re testing your skill against an opponents’ skill.   And although there’s team competition and you might be part of a dojo or you might be a part of a participatory exercise that involves group techniques, it’s really all about you—all about the individual.  I try to stay away from that.

IKF: What kind of martial arts training do you have Guardian Angels go through?

CS: Because we have groups now in 14 countries and 140 cities, we first find who might be available locally in that community to conduct the training.  We have a set training program that involves the fine things that men, women and young adults have to be able to learn.  Let’s say in the case of Sean Kelley.  Here it is Kenpo.  This is his skill.  He moves to Florida from Pennsylvania.  He’s establishing his credentials in the martial arts world there, but he’s also living in a community that’s experiencing increasing crime.  He comes in voluntarily to offer his service, to volunteer and patrol, but he has the accreditation in Kenpo to actually teach others and after looking at the program and figuring out what in Kenpo we could use to help train the local group.

We allow the martial arts instructor to utilize their own form of martial art, those techniques that might actually be applicable to our training program which is pretty extensive.  It’s got two hundred and thirty six pages.  A lot of it deals with physical self-defense and conditioning and group defense.  But then there are other things like citizens arrest procedures, CPR and first aid, and role playing and simulation.

There are Sean Kelley’s all over the world.  Some of them are accredited in Kung-fu, some are accredited in Jiu-Jitsu, and some have been fighters, boxing and wrestling.  There is no one particular martial art or type of self-defense that is preferred.  What we say is, whatever your proficient in, whatever you are accredited in, as long as you can apply what you know of your particular form of self-defense to the training manual and you’re willing to give the time and supervise the training and be a role model and example, we say go for it.

IKF: The Guardian Angels believe in Inter-activism.  Could you explain this concept?

CS: We’re like an open book.  You want to see what we do, how we do it, feel free to do it at any point.  We don’t prevent people from understanding what we do and how we do it.  We encourage people to get involved and that’s where the interaction takes place.  We don’t care who you are: black, white, Hispanic, Asian, male, female.  Everyone is going to be treated equally.  Clearly we’ll give some people opportunities to participate because they have had problems in the past maybe with drugs or alcohol, or they’ve committed a crime or have been dysfunctional.

We give them an opportunity to rectify all that by becoming a guardian angel member, which is unique because there are a lot of groups who won’t do that.  We want to have partnerships with existing organizations whether it’s a boys club, girls club, social service organization, martial arts academy, we want to have as many partnerships in what communities we have a presence in as possible because we understand we don’t have the answer.  We are just one option in a wardrobe of options that people can have access to if they decide they have had enough and they are going to get involved and they want to fight back and they want to do it within the parameters of the law.

IKF: How can people get involved with the Guardian Angels?

CS: The first thing is they have to go to the website www.guardianangels.org to see if there is an existing chapter in their area around the world in the fourteen countries, one hundred and forty cities.  And if there isn’t then obviously e-mail us about the possibility to begin an effort in establishing the guardian angel move.  Those groups range from areas as diverse as Mexico City (population 20 million) to little rural subjects in Western New Jersey (population 4,000) with no police department. It has nothing at all to do with the size of the community whether it’s a urban area, suburban or rural area, whether it’s in the United States or anywhere in the world.  It’s all about whether there is one person who is going to make the difference.  That’s all we need to start—one man or one woman.  If they’re willing to motivate themselves, do the heavy lifting, carry the efforts forward we will give the tactical air support for that.

IKF: It seems that many people complain about violence, but never want to take an active approach to deter it from happening.  What do you say to these people?

CS: Well they’re paralyzed in fear, apathy and indifference.  They don’t think that their participation in anything is gonna make any difference.  They become very jaded, very skeptical, and I understand.  They are also paralyzed because we live in a society where everyone is afraid of getting sued and losing every nickel, dime and penny.

In thirty one years we have done tens of thousands of physical interventions to break up fights and disputes to send people on their own way and it doesn’t necessitate getting the cops involved.  There’s been thousands of citizens’ arrests where we do get the cops involved because we have to physically detain a suspect and turn him over to law enforcement. And in all those years we’ve never once been sued.  In reality use the skills that you’ve been trained with and stop worrying about litigation or sued or losing every nickel, dime and penny you have, because that’s the kind of paralysis that keeps people from getting involved and making a difference.

About the author:

Michael Miller is an expert in self-defense, personal protection, personal development, and fitness.  He has been involved with martial arts for over twenty years and currently holds a 4th degree black belt in American Kenpo (one of the leading systems of self-defense), and also studies and teaches boxing, kickboxing, Joe Lewis Fighting Systems and Gracie Barra Jiu-Jitsu (no Gi).  He has been featured several times in Inside Kung-fu and Black Belt magazines as an authority in his field.  He runs the only full-time martial arts studio in the history of Bradford, Pa (Miller’s Kenpo Karate Dojo), which is also the only full-time studio in McKean County. He can be reached through his web site at www.millersdojo.com, through e-mail at michael.miller@millersdojo.com or by phone at 814-368-3725.

Filed Under: Adult Kenpo Program, Junior Helpers, Junior Program, Member Articles, Parents, Storm Team, Uncategorized

Kindness – A Deviant Trait?

February 16, 2011 By Leave a Comment

I’m sure you all know what kindness means.  If not, here is the definition from dictionary.com:

- the state or quality of being kind: kindness to animals.

- a kind act; favor: his many kindnesses to me.

- kind behavior: I will never forget your kindness.

- friendly feeling; liking.

Some synonyms to kindness include: thoughtfulness, consideration, understanding, benevolence, and forbearance.

Deviant is defined as being different, unique or strange.

This article is about kindness and how it seems to be a deviant trait in today’s society.  I do realize that there are some really great people still out there, but due to my personal experiences, it seems that kindness has become odd in today’s world. Being kind should not even be thought about.  It should just be done.  We should be kind to everybody.  It’s obvious that not everybody is going to be kind to us, but it’s important for us to not allow somebody else’s lack of character hinder our own.

As a martial arts instructor, kindness is extremely important in my book.  Although I was always brought up to be kind and thoughtful, the martial arts have assisted me on my journey through life to accomplish that task.  To me, it’s a part of me.  I also want that in my students.  Kindness means everything.  My students learn to be kind verbally, and to due random acts of kindness.

I will share two personal stories with you that shocked me.  The first one occurred several months ago.  I was walking into the local country fair.  As I approached the glass door I could see that a woman–probably in her mid-forties–was approaching the door from the inside, which immediately told me that she was on her way out.  As a normal thing that I do everyday, I pulled the door open for her and waited for her to come out before I went in.  She walked through the door with a smile on her face and said, “Thank-You!” I said, “You’re Welcome!”

After she walked through the door and I was about to head in, she stopped walking, turned around and said, “You know, there aren’t very many people around like you!”  I said, “Isn’t it sad?”  She agreed.  Just the simple kind act of holding a door for this woman really made her day.  I was shocked.  It was just a simple act of kindness.

My second story has to do with another normal act of kindness on my part.  At least three times per week I go to my favorite place to eat lunch in my hometown (Bradford, Pa), Togi’s restaurant.  Togi’s has great people, great service, and awesome food.  The best soups I have ever tasted.  While there about two months ago, this distraught couple came into the place.  They had to be upper thirties, lower forties in age.  They came from out of town and needed to make an emergency phone call.  Because Togi’s doesn’t have long distance, they couldn’t use the phone their.  This couple was clearly stressed and didn’t know what to do.

I told them that they could use my cell phone.  They could not believe that I was going to do that for them.  They thanked me profusely, made the call, and offered to buy me a drink.  I told them no thank you.  They asked if they could at least pay me a few dollars for doing this.  Once again, I declined.  I told them that I was just doing what everybody else in the world should do–help out someone in need.  They then ate lunch and as they were eating, my phone rang.  The person they had called needed to talk with them so I walked over handed them the phone and after a five minute conversation, the fellow gave me my phone back and apologized for that person calling my phone.  I told him it was not an issue and to have a great day.  They still insisted on doing something for me, even to the point to where they were trying to get the waitress to convince me to allow them to do something.

I look at this situation as being sad, because clearly, they arenot used to kind people.  They did tell me that they asked three different people to help them and they were all rude.  I offered–they didn’t ask.  I think it’s pathetic that everybody automatically feels obligated to give something in return when a kind deed is done.  I know it’s natural to feel that way, but true kindness comes from not wanting anything in return.

I challenge you to open your heart to being kind all the time, if you are not already.  Kindness can change the world, but it starts with you.

“If you haven’t any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.”  ~Bob Hope

“Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping him up.”  ~Jesse Jackson

“It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.”  ~Author Unknown

“Today, give a stranger one of your smiles.  It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. ” ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

“Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are.”  ~Author Unknown

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.  If you want to be happy, practice compassion.  ~Dalai Lama

About the Author:

Michael Miller is an expert in self-defense, personal protection, personal development, and fitness.  He currently holds a 4th degree black belt in American Kenpo (one of the leading systems of self-defense), and also studies and teaches boxing, kickboxing, Joe Lewis Fighting Systems and Gracie Barra Jiu-Jitsu.  He has been featured several times in Inside Kung-fu and Black Belt magazines as an authority in his field.  He can be reached through his web site at www.millersdojo.com, through e-mail at michael.miller@millersodjo.com or phone at 814-368-3725.

Filed Under: Adult Kenpo Program, Junior Program, Kenpo Kids Program, Little Dragons, Member Articles, Parents, Storm Team, Uncategorized

Top 5 States for Bullying

February 16, 2011 By 1 Comment

I have written a few articles on bullying, but since it is such a major problem I will continue to do so.  For those of you who are unaware, aside from being a full-time martial arts instructor, I am also a writer.  As a writer, I research often–especially when it comes to teaching martial arts.  What I’ve noticed is that many people research bullying.  Parents are concerned about their children, and they should be.  Parents are looking for ways to stop bullying from occurring, which is not an easy task.

I take bullying very seriously.  I have helped hundreds of children successfully deal with bullies.  Bullying has become a fatal problem with young children taking their own lives because of it.  It is in the news all the time.  Although bullying occurs in every state of the U.S., there are five states that make up the top five that have the most bullying behavior.  Those five states are:

1) California

2) New York

3) Illinios

4) Pennsylvania

5) Washington

If you live in any of those states your child is at higher risk than living in any other state.  Bullying is very serious, but their are ways for your child to deter bullying from happening so often.  I have found that most children will be bullied at least a couple times in their lives.  That’s not as big an issue as the children who are consistently bullied.

Whether your child is bullied only once, or is continuously bullied, it still needs to be rectified.  As mentioned there are things that can be done so that your child is not targeted by bullies, and there are steps to take if your child does become bullied so that he or she won’t be bullied again.

Although most schools have implemented a zero tolerance policy, it doesn’t stop verbal harassment or all physical bullying to stop.  So what do you do? Well, as parents it’s important to make sure your child doesn’t become a bully.  I realize that many parents feel that if their child becomes the bully at least he won’t be bullied.  That’s not true.  In fact, becoming a bully is much worse than being bullied.

Bullies are not liked.  They don’t make many friends and their future will not turn out well.  Try your best to teach your child not to become a bully.  I have included a small video in this article done by a child.  I will include the write up that goes with it at the end of this article.

Here are some things your child can do to avoid being a target:

1) Be friendly and make as many friends as possible

2) Stand up for herself verbally (being assertive)

3) Be social.

4) Show confidence in your verbal and non verbal communication

5) Let people know if you recognize bullying behavior

There are many more, but that is a start.  A child’s confidence is vital when it comes to bullies choosing their victim.  Bullies don’t want to bully a confident child.  One of the best ways to instill confidence is through martial arts.  Aside from that your child will learn proper physical protection skills if he/she ever get attacked by bullies.

I know what martial arts have done for me and my students.  If you are in one of the top five bullying states seriously consider looking into a recognized martial arts school.  If you need tips on how to know whether or not a martial arts school is right for you e-mail me at michael.miller@millersdojo.com.

As mentioned, I told you I would put the write up that goes with the video at the end of this article.  Here it is:

These are the top 5 worst states to avoid bullying K12:

1) California
2) New York
3) Illinois
4) Pennsylvania
5) Washington

Many kids are bullied each day. Don’t be one of the bullies.

A word from the director/producer of Bullying Stops Today:
“At first, I made this video for fun. During the editing, I saw the potential that this video holds. Kids like me can make a difference. We can help put an end to bullying. I was actually ‘bullied’ at school before. I didn’t feel like I was welcome at the school I just moved to. I know many other kids have the same problem. That’s why I felt the need to show kids what they can do to help end bullying.”
~Timmy

In a recent national survey of students in grades 6-10, 13% reported bullying others, 11% reported being the target of bullies, and another 6% said that they bullied others and were bullied themselves. Please pledge not to bully other students, to help students who are bullied and to make a point to include students who are left out. Children need to respond constructively when they see bullying. Children need to work with their friends to help distract the bullies from their cruelty, report the incident, or discourage bystanders fromactively or passively encouraging an incident. Children need to report bullying to adults. Children need to be taught the difference between “tattling” (causing trouble) and “reporting” (helping). If children think that reporting a bully is the same as tattling, they will not do it. BULLYING STOPS TODAY.

I hope this article helped you in some way.  Bullying is serious, but it can be stopped.

About the Author:

Michael Miller is an expert in self-defense, personal protection, personal development, and fitness.  He currently holds a 4th degree black belt in American Kenpo (one of the leading systems of self-defense), and also studies and teaches boxing, kickboxing, Joe Lewis Fighting Systems and Gracie Barra Jiu-Jitsu.  He has been featured several times in Inside Kung-fu and Black Belt magazines as an authority in his field.  He can be reached through his web site at www.millersdojo.com, through e-mail at michael.miller@millersodjo.com or phone at 814-368-3725.

Filed Under: Member Articles, Parents, Uncategorized

Building Self-Confidence

February 16, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Self-confidence is vital in our lives.  Our confidence in ourselves dictates how we walk, talk, and act.  It is an important element to our success in life.  Self-confidence deals with whether or not we believe in ourselves.  Do we believe we CAN accomplish the things we are out to accomplish, or do we have doubts for some reason or another?

“Recent studies (Peixe, 2009) show that self confidence is something you act on, not something you learn. There are a number of practical exercises that are said to help anyone achieve the level of belief that allows them to take action and pursue their objectives.”  — wikopedia site

Building self-confidence is about action, as stated in the above paragraph.  If you feel you need better confidence in yourself, this article will help you.  Here is a little write up from the site: www.confidencemanual.com

People who are self confident are those who acknowledge their capacity to do something and then proceed to do these things. They do not rely on the approval of other people in order to affirm their existence. It is enough that they know they have the capacity and the potential to do something, and the guts to do it no matter what others may say. People who are self confident take advantage of the opportunities that comes their way.

Lack of self confidence is not proportional to a person’s abilities. In fact, there are people who are extremely talented and able but they lack self confidence to show these abilities.

If you are wanting in self confidence, then you must continuously do things that will help you gain confidence.

Identify your strengths and weaknesses and capitalize on that. Make full use of your strength and gather positive points. This will help you gain self confidence. Do not expect everything to be perfect because you are bound to do something wrong along the way. Nobody is perfect and everyone is culpable of making mistakes.

Acknowledge your abilities and talent and take stock of them. Do not under estimate yourself. Try to recognize every little thing you have done which has become successful. Try to learn a new skill, and try to learn new things as this will make you a better person.

Look for things that make you feel good about yourself. It can be photos of past achievements like when you won a race or won a debate; it can be a poem you wrote which was published in a book. Concentrate on things that you have achieved and take it from there. This will give you more confidence to do other things in life.

Developing self confidence is not easy especially if you do not think highly of yourself. If you want to be self confident, avoid things that will discourage you from gaining confidence. Do not dwell on past mistakes or failures because it will make you feel insignificant. Being a defeatist will not give your confidence a boost.

Better yet, concentrate on the positive things that you have done and accomplished and make them your inspiration. In time, you will have more faith in yourself, and hopefully, more confidence.

Here is a great article I found on pickthebrain.com.  It’s written by the editor.

10 Ways to Instantly Build Self-Confidence

1. Dress Sharp

Although clothes don’t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently, wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the latest styles.

This doesn’t mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is “spend twice as much, buy half as much”. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes. Buying less also helps reduce the clutter in your closet.

2. Walk Faster

One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? tired? painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.

3. Good Posture

Similarly, the way a person carries herself tells a story. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self confidence. They aren’t enthusiastic about what they’re doing and they don’t consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you’ll automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You’ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.

4. Personal Commercial

One of the best ways to build confidence is listening to a motivational speech. Unfortunately, opportunities to listen to a great speaker are few and far between. You can fill this need by creating a personal commercial. Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite it in front of the mirror aloud (or inside your head if you prefer) whenever you need a confidence boost.

5. Gratitude

When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can’t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum. You’ll be amazed how much you have going for you and motivated to take that next step towards success.

6. Compliment other people

When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.

7. Sit in the front row

In schools, offices, and public assemblies around the world, people constantly strive to sit at the back of the room. Most people prefer the back because they’re afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self confidence. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence. You’ll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room.

8. Speak up

During group discussions many people never speak up because they’re afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear isn’t really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.

9. Work out

Along the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you’re out of shape, you’ll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By working out, you improve your physcial appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.

10. Focus on contribution

Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.

[end article]

Follow these steps and you will build your self-confidence instantly and can enjoy a healthier, happier life.  Keep in mind that children need to be confident so be sure to educate your children in how to do so.  One of the things to build confidence mentioned in the article was working out.  One of the best forms of working out is martial arts.  Martial Arts build confidence quicker and better than anything else.  It’s been proven time and time again.

Remember, actions produce confidence!

Michael Miller

www.millersdojo.com

michael.miller@millersdojo.com

Filed Under: Adult Kenpo Program, Junior Helpers, Junior Program, Kenpo Kids Program, Little Dragons, Member Articles, Parents, Storm Team, Uncategorized

2009 Bullying Statistics

February 16, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Bullying is a major problem throughout the U.S.  This is an addendum to my first article about bullying.   You will also find many future articles about this topic, since bullying has lead to several young suicides and, for others, severe depression.

Some people believe that it won’t happen to them or their child.  Honestly, bullying is extremely common and I guarantee it will happen to your child.  I am certain it has happened to you several times.  I know it has happened to me more than I can count; even as an adult.  The good news is I knew how to handle it.

First off, there are things you can do to prevent yourself from being bullied in the first place.  Confidence is the main ingredient to making bullies turn the other way.  Your body language, attitude, and how you conduct yourself all play a role.  The problem is many people don’t have that confidence and conduct themselves in such a way that they become victimized.  So how do you get that kind of confidence?  It’s simple: learn how to protect yourself.  It’s a great feeling walking around knowing you don’t have to worry about being attacked.  Bullies can read this.

Although you might not be a target for a bully it still doesn’t guarantee that you won’t become bullied.  So your second step is knowing how to deal with bullies.  You need to know how to diffuse the verbal harassment and how to physically handle a bully if he attacks you.  If you learn the three T’s of dealing with verbal harassment, you will be able to implement them and will put a stop to the bully.  You must also understand the rules of engagement when dealing with bullies.

At Miller’s Kenpo Karate we teach children and adults all of these things.  They learn the three T’s to verbal harassment and also learn the rules of engagement (five steps to take).  We instill real confidence by teaching effective training methods and movements, along with the proper mindset.

To prove how bad bullying is, I have included the statistics of 2009 for bullying, which were mentioned in an article written by researcher John W. Sheridan.

Here are some School Bullying Statistics from 2009 Surveys:

*Over 75% of our students are subjected to harassment by a bully or Cyber-Bully and experience physical, psychological and/or emotional abuse.

*Over 20% of our kids admit to being a bully or participating in bully-like activities.

*Over one half of bullying & Cyber-Bullying events go unreported to authorities or parents.

*In 2009 surveys showed over 100,000 children carried guns to school as a result of being bullied.

*28% of students who carry weapons in school have witnessed violence in their homes.

*On a daily average 160,000 children miss school because they fear they will be bullied if they attend classes.

*On a monthly average 282,000 students are physically attacked by a bully each month.

*Every seven minutes a child is bullied on a school playground with over 85% of those instances occurring without any intervention.

*46% of males and 26% of females admit to having been involved in physical fights as a result of being bullied.

*Over 85% of our teenagers say that revenge as an aftermath of being bullied is the leading cause for school shootings and homicide.

*The top 5 states in regards to reported incidents of bullying and Cyber-Bullying are California, New York, Illinois, Pennsylvania, and Washington.

*A child commits suicide as a direct result of being bullied once every half hour with 19,000 bullied children attempting to commit suicide over the course of one year.

As you can see from the school bullying statistics listed above it is indeed a serious problem that must be addressed whenever discovered.

Unfortunately, as indicated above, most instances of school bully activity go unreported by the student victims.

This makes it very difficult for teachers or parents to intervene on behalf of the victim and provide the proper counseling needed for the victim as well as the bully.

A relatively new type of bully, the Cyber-Bully, is relevant in schools as well as home and is a growing concern for parents when trying to protect their kids from this form of abuse.

Cyber-Bullying is the harassment of kids through the use of the internet and filters into the schools when kids return to classes.

It is so serious that over one third of our kids who frequent the internet are victims of the Cyber-Bully.

[end statistics]

I will have a separate article in the future about Cyber-bullying.  Notice that Pennsylvania is one of the top 5 states for bullying.  You CAN do something about it.  Although most school systems have adapted the zero tolerance rule, meaning that any students who get into a physical confrontation both parties will be suspended.  That’s good in one way that it prevents some physical bullying from happening, but not so good in other ways.  It still doesn’t prevent all of it, and it doesn’t stop any of the verbal harassment.

Michael Miller (Reality based self-defense expert)

www.millersdojo.com

814-368-3725

michael.miller@millersdojo.com

Filed Under: Junior Helpers, Junior Program, Kenpo Kids Program, Member Articles, Parents, Storm Team, Uncategorized

Bullying – A Fatal Problem

February 16, 2011 By Leave a Comment

“-According to the National Education Association, 160,000 kids miss school every day in the U.S. just to avoid a bully. -According to the U.S. Secret Service, the majority of school shootings have been linked to cases of excessive bullying. -Studies show that adults who were bullied as children have higher levels of depression and lower self-esteem than those who weren’t.”

– Gracie Jiu-Jistu Web site (Bullyproof Program)

Bullying is a major problem; a problem that continues to escalate throughout the United States.  Although it’s a vital problem, many are unwilling to step up to remedy it.  Children get bullied daily.  Teenagers are taking their own lives because they are being bullied.  There are many things that can be done to deter bullying.  Your children need to become educated by learning the rules of engagement to deal with a physical bullying attack and they need to learn the three “Key” steps to verbal harassment, which will allow them to take control of the situation and end the torment. This step by step plan taught at Miller’s Kenpo Karate provides a layout of what to do, which will build the confidence necessary to handle these difficult situations.  www.millersdojo.com.

A good martial arts program will surely advance the odds of your children becoming bullyproof.  Do your research and make sure the program is sound and that the instructor actually knows what he/she is talking about.  There are many poor instructors out there who brainwash their students into a false thinking pattern leading to devastating results.

Here is an article that was in USA Weekend recently.

Teach problem-solving to prevent bullying
By Sharon Jayson (USA Weekend, 9-19-2010)

Kids and teens (especially boys) who have trouble with solving problems are more at risk of becoming bullies, victims of bullying or both, says a new review of research published in the past 30 years. The analysis of 153 studies, by researchers from Louisiana State University-Baton Rouge and the University of California-Riverside, appeared in the June issue of the journal School Psychology Quarterly. The studies had sample sizes from 44 to as many as 26,430. Ages spanned from 3 to 18. All were from the USA and Europe.

You can help your child avoid becoming a bully or a victim at school by promoting good problem-solving skills. Tips:

Let children figure it out. Your children need to learn how to solve problems themselves, which often means trial and error. You can make suggestions, but don’t swoop in to fix everything immediately.

Play games. Use puzzles and games like checkers or chess to encourage rational problem-solving.

Set and follow rules. When you are firm and fair with punishments, your child will reflect on the consequences of his actions. Talk to your child about why he is being punished and what he can do differently next time.

Our child programs at Miller’s Kenpo Karate teach children problem solving skills.  We give them unshakable confidence through realistic and age specific modalities teaching them how to handle bullying type situations from all angles.  There are many things children can do to prevent bullying and several things they can do to handle bullying if it happens to them or their friends/family.  If you would like to give your child that gift call us at 814-368-3725 or e-mail me at michael.miller@millersdojo.com

About the author:

Michael Miller is an expert in reality based self-defense, personal protection, personal development, and fitness.  He has been featured several times in Inside Kung-fu and Black Belt magazines as an authority in his field.  He is one of two people on the entire East Coast actively certified through the Gift of Power Foundation—one of the top organizations for self-defense and personal safety—created by one of Miller’s instructors Dave Hebler (ex bodyguard to Elvis Presley).

Filed Under: Parents, Uncategorized

Planting Seeds

February 16, 2011 By Leave a Comment

One of the many things I like to do on my journey of life is to plant seeds everywhere I go.  I have always been into helping others in any way I can to improve their lives, which is why I became a self-defense expert.  My role in life, however, is much more involved than just a self-defense/martial arts instructor.

One thing to understand, however, is that just because seeds are planted doesn’t mean they are going to grow.  My job isn’t to worry about that.  My job is to continuously plant seeds and enjoy the one’s that do grow.  There are several ways we can plant seeds on our journey.  The best way is through our actual actions of being kind, helping those in need, educating others through our experiences and expertise, and having an open mind.

I have found that being a good listener and genuinely caring about who you are talking to and what his/her needs are is a great way to change people’s lives.  Sometimes a seed is a kind word said that a person needed to hear to heal his/her heart.  Sometimes a seed is a gift you wanted to give to a particular person with no intentions of wanting anything in return.

One thing that makes me proud is that I often get e-mails and messages on facebook from people thanking me for what I have done for them.  Most of the time it’s from people I’ve never met.  Usually it has to do with an article I write or something I said that they found on the internet somewhere.  Just the other day I received a facebook message from someone I never met and it made me feel awesome.  I will share this with you:

“Mr. Miller,

We have never met or had any communications in the past, but I wanted to thank you.  See, I was at a time in my life when I had stopped training in the martial arts due to work, marriage and children.  And sadly laziness breeds more laziness.  So I had no motivation to train.

One evening I was surfing on youtube and stumbled across some of your videos.  I saw a person with a passion for martial arts like I once had.  A man who was not only great at his art but loved to do it.  And your enthusiasm looked as though it spreads to your students.

The reason I wanted to thank you is because you inspired me to get off my rear end and start training again.  Not only just training again but training in Kenpo.  I’m currently a yellow belt (about to test for my orange) and I love it.

Just for a little background.  I’m 31, I’ve been training since I was 14 (aside from the lazy spell I spoke of).  Aside from Kenpo, I am a 4th degree black belt in TKD, 3rd degree black in American Freestyle, with a fair amount of cross training in other arts.  Thank you sir, for inspiring a man that you have never met to get up and train once again.  If I hadn’t seen that video that evening, my martial arts journey may have ended. Thank you.”

I won’t put his name as he doesn’t know I am writing this.  As you can see, it is possible to spread seeds when you don’t even know that you are.   It’s nice that I am able to do that and I am proud that this fellow recognized my passion.

How often do you plant seeds?  I always encourage my students to follow my role and lead by example so that our community will continue to become a better place one person at a time.

About the author:

Michael Miller is an expert in reality based self-defense, personal protection, personal development, and fitness.  He has been featured several times in Inside Kung-fu and Black Belt magazines as an authority in his field.  He is one of two people on the entire East Coast actively certified through the Gift of Power Foundation—one of the top organizations for self-defense and personal safety—created by one of Miller’s instructors Dave Hebler (ex bodyguard to Elvis Presley).

Filed Under: Member Articles, Parents, Storm Team, Uncategorized
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