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Principles We Follow at Miller’s Dojo

February 17, 2012 By Leave a Comment

I have certain principles I believe in and follow that I expect my students to follow as well.  It’s easy at times to stray from our path and become easily influenced by negative things.  By reciting the principles below every day we can keep them fresh in our minds so that we don’t let the power of negative influence take over our lives and hinder the process of the ultimate goals of our journey in life.  Life is precious and we are on this earth for a reason.  I challenge everyone reading this to learn to follow these principles and I can assure you that your life will be healthier and happier.

-         You can be anything you want to be – how bad do you want it?

-         Never, EVER, give up. Nothing is ever accomplished by quitting.

-         Give 100 percent effort, 100 percent of the time.

-         Be realistic, but push yourself

-         Strive for progress, not perfection.  You will always fall short of perfection, but you can always make progress each day.

-         Be a better person today than you were yesterday

-         Be kind and humble, but have a warrior mindset

-         You are your toughest opponent

-         Train hard and enjoy the benefits

-         Be a good winner and a good loser – you always learn something

-         Set a good example by being a good role model

-         Make each day your masterpiece

-         Try to resolve conflicts without fighting – fight in the ring

 

I’m not saying you will never slip up here and there.  We are not perfect and never will be, but if you sincerely try your best to follow these principles they will help you become all you are capable of becoming. 

TCB…

Filed Under: Adult Kenpo Program, Blog/Articles, Junior Program, Kenpo Kids Program, Little Dragons, Member Articles, Parents

The Four Agreements

February 1, 2012 By Leave a Comment

There is always room for improvement.  No matter where you get in life, or how great you are, there is always room for you to become even better.  You should always give 100 percent effort 100 percent of the time and not settle for lest than your best.  With this come many roadblocks that will attempt to deter your success.  It’s important to have faith, to believe in yourself, and to persevere no matter how hard a particular struggle may become. 

 

Your mind is a powerful tool and is the most dangerous weapon you possess.  The power of positive thinking produces positive action.  You are what you think.  If you don’t like the way you feel, change the way you think.  Try to become a better and more positive person each day and reap the greatness of a rewarding life. 

 

I came across “The Four Agreements” which I found interesting and very true.  I don’t know where they came from or who created them, but it wasn’t me.  Try to incorporate these agreements in your life.

 The Four Agreements

 

Be Impeccable with your Word

 

Speak with integrity.  Say only what you mean.  Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.  Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

 

Don’t Take Anything Personally

 

Nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a projection of their own reality.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

 

Don’t Make Assumptions

 

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.  Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.  With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

 

Always Do Your Best

 

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.  Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.  

 

Filed Under: Adult Kenpo Program, Blog/Articles, Junior Helpers, Member Articles, Parents, Storm Team

Our Mission at Miller’s Kenpo Karate

January 16, 2012 By Leave a Comment

At Miller’s Kenpo Karate we believe in providing the best methods possible to succeed in all aspects of life.  We genuinly care about every student and the progress that the student makes.   We will do whatever we can to help every student reach his or her full potential and accomplish the goals he or she sets.  At our school it’s about the students, not the instructors.  Any martial arts studio that focuses on the instructors’s accomplishments or the instructors pocket book is a place where a student will be limited and will receive nothing more than a false sense of security.  An instructor with an ego, boasting about how great he or she is while strutting around with his or her arms crossed barking orders is a sure sign of a poor instructor who produces poor quality students and gives away belts to keep students coming and paying.   Instructors who are focused on themselves cannot help others become all they are capable of becoming.  As a student you are much more concerned with what an instructor can do for you, rather than what the instructor has accomplished.  With that said, we wanted to share our mission at our school as a reminder. 

 

Our Mission:

 

The Objective

To teach students how to think and become self – correcting through learning concepts, principles, and theories that are practical in thought and action with realistic modern training modalities to better their lives on all levels, while creating a Kenpo mindset allowing logical and practical thinking through personal interpretation, analyzing, dissecting, and creating to become the best they are capable of becoming at their personal style of Kenpo by always remaining a student who is humble, loyal, respectful, disciplined, motivated, and leads by example through appropriate behaviors and character.

The Purpose

To improve the lives of every student who walks through the studio door by teaching proper values as well as high impact drills to help build better balance, coordination, agility, flexibility, stamina, strength, cardiovascular health, and muscular endurance to create a much happier and healthier student who is motivated to set goals, and stay on course to achieving those goals while being focused and disciplined, creating self-confidence and a healthy self-esteem. Also, to teach students to learn to be optimistic and take personal responsibility for their own lives while learning a modern practical system of self-defense and personal protection based on logic and reason, not tradition, while molding their own personal style of Kenpo tailored to them, eventually becoming fully qualified black belts who are role models for our community.

The Plan

To teach quality classes that focus on improving every student each class, as well as to get on a personal level with each student so that the student can be properly taught according to his or her ability, desires, needs, thoughts, personality and body type to produce a student who has reached his or her full potential and looks forward to a continued journey of success. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Adult Kenpo Program, Blog/Articles, Junior Program, Kenpo Kids Program, Latest news, Little Dragons, Member Articles, Parents

Black Belt – What does it Mean Today?

October 18, 2011 By 2 Comments

Back in the day, a black belt was like a superhero. He could break bricks with his hand, concrete slabs with his head, and boards with his fingers all while yelling a gut wrenching sound from his diaphragm with a piercing look in his eyes. Just by seeing his amazing power, focus, and control, you knew that this person could drop any punk who was dumb enough to attack him. Aside from his ability to break things, he could do splits, kick above his head with no effort, and had a confidence that spewed from every pore of his body. It was awesome.

In the old times, there was only one belt – white, and its purpose was to hold your uniform top together. The practitioners found that after all the years of training, the white belt turned black from sweat and dirt, which then symbolized that if you were wearing a black belt, you had been doing it a long time, because it took years for it to get that dirty. Later, a color belt system was created to show the different levels. It gave students a sense of achievement and a way to set short term goals. The reality was that most students would quit if they were a white belt for several years and then had only the black belt to be promoted to.

The black belt symbolized an advanced practitioner – someone who had mastered the basics and stood above all others under him. A black belt was tough, but kind. He could fight, but avoided them. He could break bones, but would rather shake hands. He was a warrior, but stood for peace. A black belt was EARNED and RESPECTED. Is a black belt viewed the same way nowadays? Not hardly, but it depends on who is viewing it and who the black belt is.

Non martial artists view a black belt one of two ways – either the fallacy that the black belt is someone you don’t mess with because he is unstoppable, or that having a black belt doesn’t mean anything when it comes to fighting. So you have two extremes – either a black belt is indestructible, or isn’t tough at all. Usually, however, many non martial artists are in the first group viewing black belts as nobody to mess with. The non martial artists in this category primarily base their belief off the movies they’ve seen. They saw Chuck Norris kick the crap out of eight guys at once in an episode of Walker Texas Ranger so they believe that’s what black belts can do. Sorry, but it’s a television show. Think about it: do you really think anybody could take out eight guys by himself? Although there are ways to get out of that situation, even by taking out two or three of them, but to beat the tar out of all eight guys and the black belt walking away unharmed? Not going to happen, unless he is armed.

Those on the other side of the coin, who view black belts as nobody’s, are usually ego driven tough guy wannabe’s who call themselves street fighters and are infatuated with wanting people to think they are tough. Other possibilities include: they saw a black belt get beat up by someone and the belt lost all validity; they saw that the black belt didn’t look like a black belt when throwing punches and kicks (in other words the punches and kicks looked horrible); or, they saw the black belt doing acrobatics and using unrealistic weapons like fans and swords, which made them realize that the only place that kind of stuff works is in the Dojo (training hall) when the training partner stands there for you with no resistance.

In the martial arts world, however, the black belt is viewed in several different ways. Most students have a goal of becoming a black belt. It’s a great achievement if you actually earn it. The problem is, nowadays, a black belt isn’t what it used to be. First off you have little kids getting them – something that is completely bizarre. No offense, but what is a 6 year old black belt going to do? He wouldn’t have a prayer of defending himself against an older punk – let’s say 10 years old – who decides to push him around, unless luck took over.

What I’ve found in today’s society is that 75 percent of black belts are not qualified to wear that rank – in my perception of what a black belt should be. The other 25 percent make up what a black belt should be (physically and mentally), in my view. The black belt has lost validity due to children getting them and due to people buying them and not earning them. Many instructors will promote people up through all the ranks quickly for the money. They end up with black belts who not only look horrible, but also couldn’t protect themselves if their lives depended on it. Not to mention, these so called black belts have a false belief system of actually thinking they are capable of defending themselves in any situation. The instructors who foolishly promote people like that are setting so many students up for failure and could possibly get them killed someday.

Another thing to ponder is that there are ten degrees of black. This means when you first get your black belt it’s actually a first degree black belt. Down the road you will get a second degree then third, fourth, etc. With that said, what I have seen quite often is rank jumping. I’ve seen unworthy instructors go from 4th to 7th completely skipping over 5th and 6th. I’ve also seen 3rd to 5th, 5th to 8th and 7th to 10th. Funny thing is, most of these people aren’t even good enough to be wearing a 1st degree black, in my opinion. If you are a Jiu-Jitsu 3rd degree black belt you shouldn’t be screwing up basic arm bars. If you are a Taekwondo 7th degree black belt, you better be able to kick above your waist. There is no excuse for jumping rank. Personally, to me, a black belt is a black belt, and I feel you will either continue to grow or you won’t. That’s where the other degrees come into play. If you continue to grow and mature as a martial artist you deserve to get higher degrees. If you don’t grow, you don’t deserve higher degrees. Since unworthy black belts keep getting higher degrees, nowadays, being higher ranked doesn’t make you better. I’ve seen several 6th and 7th degree black belts who aren’t as good as some 2nd and 3rd degrees I’ve worked with.

I’ve also noticed in a lot of cases that the higher up in the degrees people go, the less they do and the worse they become. If you are worse now than you were two years ago, you don’t deserve being promoted to another degree of black. You don’t deserve birthday cake rank – just because you got another year older, so another year IN the art. The thing is there is a huge difference between being IN the art and being AT the art. Someone who is IN the art for 10 years is nowhere near someone who has been AT the art for 4 years. Paying your monthly fee on time, and showing up to class once in a while doesn’t mean you are doing what you are supposed to do and doesn’t mean you will be ranked every 3-4 months. Yes, most schools will do that, but those are the schools that end up with horrible black belts. Also, as an instructor, just standing in front of class barking orders all the time and never training yourself, is not setting a good example. By training, I mean actually breaking a sweat. I train everyday. I train with my students. Yes, I teach them, correct them, assist them, and motivate them, but I still work out with them, partner up with them, spar with them, etc. What better way to set the example and for them to believe in you than by you showing them by being able to do everything you are asking them to do?

Personally, I don’t base my opinion of somebody according to belt color. I base my opinion according to her character and her actions. If I see a black belt on the mats, I pay attention to how she carry’s herself. Is she helpful to the under ranks or is she strutting around acting better than everybody? Is she working out or just standing around? Is she a talker, or a doer? I love black belts who talk but never do. The one’s that talk like they are great, but will never spar, or never roll (Jiu-Jitsu). For example, if you tell me you know Jiu-Jitsu and hold a pretty good rank in it, but you won’t roll, you are full of it. The old adage, “actions speak louder than words” comes into play here. I see it all the time.

Back to the question, what does a black belt mean today? In my view, the black belt doesn’t mean anything unless you earned it. If you’ve worked as hard as you are capable of working for several years accumulating some bumps and bruises along the way – possibly even shed a few tears, and pushed yourself to never settle for where you are at and to always strive for improvement, then that black belt is something you deserved. Now that you are a black belt, your training begins.

I’ve noticed in a lot of cases that once people are promoted to black belt they think they have reached the top. Some think they don’t need instructors anymore and others think now that they are black belts they don’t have to train anymore. Why is it in most schools black belts just stand around while everybody else works out? When you are training it is a journey, not a destination. I know for me, I work harder and harder every year. I gain more knowledge and try to improve my physical skill daily. And, it’s not for rank. In my heart and in my mind rank doesn’t mean a thing. That is just my opinion for my personal life. I had a goal of becoming a black belt and it was an awesome accomplishment; but since I have become an instructor and have traveled all around the United States training with the top martial artists in the world and teaching at seminars, rank has lost value for me. In fact, most of the time, I don’t even wear my black belt. I usually teach in Gi pants and a Miller’s Dojo t-shirt with no belt. I put the full uniform on and wear my belt only once in a while at my school, and anytime I teach seminars at other schools or attend seminars. Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of who I was promoted under for my degrees of black and I know I earned every one of them, but I’m more interested in knowledge and skill – not belts. I’ve fought in the ring and protected myself several times on the street and my belts had nothing to do with it.

Truth is the concept of a black belt will never have a definitive definition. It’s a subjective thing – everybody will have different opinions about what a black belt should be and even martial arts masters will have their own opinions that differ from other masters. In a lot of schools, becoming a black belt is about how many Katas you have memorized, which has nothing to do with being able to protect yourself. In other schools it’s about who you beat in tournament sparring. If you are an orange belt and you beat a blue belt, you become a blue belt. The way some people get black belts is totally asinine, but again, the black belt will never be the same all around – it’s impossible, because there are so many different martial arts styles out there that a black belt can’t be the same all around. Aside from that, you could take 10 black belts in the same style or system, even under the same instructor, and you will have 10 different black belts. One may be better at point sparring, another may be better at full contact, another may be better at forms, another may be a better kicker, etc.

To me, as I mentioned earlier, the only way the black belt means something is if you earned it. My personal definition of a black belt is that she should be able to protect herself pretty effortlessly, be able to spar a few full-contact rounds without getting knocked out or giving up, be able to teach, have good character, respect all people, have glowing confidence, always stand up for what’s right, lead by example, always help others, be civic minded, have a teachable spirit, never stop learning, and have no ego.

It used to be that 1 out of every 100 students became a black belt, because it was so difficult to reach. Now everybody who sticks around and hands in a monthly check becomes a black belt. That should put things in perspective for you. It used to be getting a black belt was like getting a PHD. Notice not everybody gets a PHD; only those who put in all the hours of schooling and hard work by studying and getting good grades. Nowadays, getting a black belt is like graduating kindergarten – tough feat there; and the only PHD we would be talking about would be piled high and deep.

I know this was a long article that mostly covered my views of the black belt and belt rank in general from a martial arts expert viewpoint who’s honor, dignity, and integrity are more important than taking money to give away false rank. I came across a similar article about belt rank that I really enjoyed and I am going to share that with you now. It was written by a guy named Sami Ibrahim. Here it is:

BELT RANK

One schools master is another schools novice. One studios black belt students are another studios orange belt students. Even within the same martial arts system and same organization you will see the inconsistency or disparity in equally ranked students. Even in the same school and with the same instructor no two students are the same in skill or understanding who have the same rank why?

Take for example a room of white belt students who are learning the Upper Block Basic. Each student sees the same move and works to get it right repeatedly in class, the instructor goes around making simple corrections until all the students are on the right track. If the upper block is a required basic for the next belt rank test, what is considered knowing it?

Is it simply that the student can make the motion that resembles the instructors motion superficially or does the student need to have all the joints at the correct alignment? Does the student have to demonstrate 1, 2, 3 maybe 8 applications with that basic? Is the student expected to know the when and when not to of that basic or do they have to show they can use it reflexively during a sparring portion of the test? Maybe some of those things will be required by the time they are third degree black belts or maybe not.

Some of those students will over the next few years put in countless hours of training at home while others will only train when they come to class. Some of those students will spend countless hours in research and experimentation with a given basic and others will never give it much thought. In the end some arbitrary test will award some token of progress. Later down the road the student or customer if you’re the commercial sort, who has met the tests and payment requirements can be given a teaching certificate that amounts to the instructor or associations endorsement that said individual is a capable of teaching the system.

The belt ranking system is idealistic in theory but not in application. In these modern times the value placed on the mighty dollar helps sway the vote, helps that instructor look at OTHER FACTORS…in promotion, such as well the guy lost weight and came to class on time, sure he still moves like a Yak but he quit smoking and he is such a nice guy, I guess I can overlook his lack of skill and award him a brown belt that he can grow into. Sure the boys still young but I can give him a Jr black belt after all his mom is rich and wants to take private lessons. In the end, the belt ranking system does help put food on the table or pay the rent and all those other things but as far as maintaining some kind of standard of measurement of skill or knowledge forget about it. These days all it really does is promote inflated egos and overconfident, unskilled teachers.

A belt ranking system is indeed a tool but for what true purpose lol (greed, control, bait, etc)

Filed Under: Adult Kenpo Program, Blog/Articles, Junior Program, Latest news, Member Articles, Parents, Storm Team

True Leadership

September 6, 2011 By Leave a Comment

When it comes to life, you have those people who watch things happen, those who make things happen and those who say “what happened.”  Leadership is something I believe is vital in life. We are all role models whether we like it or not.  Question is, are we being good ones?  You will always have people who will look at your actions and behaviors and they will emulate that behavior.  A good example is parenthood.  When children are young they learn by watching others.  The people they copy the most are their parents, brothers, sisters, cousins, etc.  If a parent displays negative behavior, the child automatically thinks the behavior is acceptable. 

In martial arts, we strive to be good leaders.  One of the best leaders this world has ever seen was the great Coach John Wooden.  When I was introduced to the book “Wooden on Leadership” I truly loved Mr. Woodens philosophies.  I never knew him personally, but a lot of my teachings in martial arts emulate that of the great UCLA coach.  I have his Pyramid of Success hung in every room of my martial arts studio. 

I’m writing this because I came across a great story sent to Bob White (a Kenpo expert), by Andy Hill, who was an old student under Coach Wooden.  This is a great article.  I hope you enjoy it. 

POISE

At the pinnacle of Coach Wooden’s Pyramid of Success is a quality everyone needs to thrive in tough times…COMPETITIVE GREATNESS. He defines this as “being at your best when your best is needed.” While it is true that all the blocks of the Pyramid play a role in reaching the zenith, there is one block that is an absolute necessity for those wishing to reach the top…and that is POISE…which lies right under COMPETITIVE GREATNESS.

How does Coach define POISE? He says, “Just be yourself. Be at ease in any situation. Never fight yourself.” This quality of clear headedness about who you are and what you value is also clearly a part of Coach’s Seven Point Creed. “Be True to Yourself” is the very first one of the seven points. But what does this imply for you, and how do you attain this sort of clarity?

The starting point for POISE is to have a solid sense of your own values. Is it more important to you that you make money…or have close relationships? Is it more important to you to have a bigger home…or be honest? Is it more important to you to get promoted…or to do the right thing when no one else is there to witness your behavior? Are you “the boss” who has to exercise power…or “the teacher” who needs to help those under your supervision improve and reach THEIR goals? A clear vision of who you are…and what you hope to become…are the essential ingredients you must possess to truly have “poise” and if you hope to some day have “competitive greatness.”

Like many of Coach Wooden’s ideas, they are probably most easily understood if you can see how he carried them out in real life. Beyond knowing that it held a spot high up in his Pyramid…how did Coach demonstrate POISE to us? Here’s a John Wooden story that hopefully will take this somewhat murky concept and make it unambiguous. Let’s take a little trip down memory lane and see if this doesn’t give you an insight into POISE.

My very first trip to the Final Four was in 1970, when we journeyed to Maryland’s Cole Field House. We beat an outstanding New Mexico team that boasted three future NBA first round draft choices…and looked forward to playing the winner of the other semi-final that featured two future Hall of Fame centers, Bob Lanier from St. Bonaventure and Artis Gilmore from Jacksonville. Artis’ team won a tough semi-final game, and we truly were concerned with how we were going to contend in the Finals with the 7’2″ giant who controlled the paint against the Bonnies. Behind an unbelievable performance from Sidney Wicks, we were able to prevail and once again the Bruins were the champs.

When you win a championship, you can only imagine the excitement and enthusiasm it ignites in your fans. As we finished up showering and started to make our way out to the bus for the trip home, you could hear huge cheers go up as Bruin players and coaches made their way out of the locker room to sign autographs and pose for pictures with ecstatic alumni and students. Pretty heady stuff when you are just 19. But John Wooden had been in this situation before, and Coach knew that those same fans who love you today could boo you tomorrow. He didn’t mind the revelry, but he sure didn’t get carried away by the excitement. So as I finished packing my travel bag to head out to the bus, Coach gave me a real life lesson in POISE that I never forgot. As I was throwing my shoes in my bag for the last time that season…anxious to head outside and feel the love from those fans…I took one last glance around the locker room and was surprised to find Coach Wooden over in the corner picking up a couple of orange peels that had been left on the floor. Knowing that the big-shots out in the hall were really hoping for a glimpse of Coach, I sort of jokingly went over to him and reminded him that surely someone was going to come in and clean up after we left. He didn’t miss a beat in responding, “Those fans can wait another few minutes. I always love it when janitors write or comment on how UCLA left their locker room spotless.” I was tongue tied…which is not my normal state. Here was the coach of the newly crowned champs, pausing before he accepted the cheers and congratulations of supposedly “important” folks, showing concern for a janitor whom he would probably never meet face to face. Why? Because Coach knew who he was, knew what he valued, and had the POISE to “stay true to himself” regardless of the situation.

POISE…there is no stepping stone to COMPETITIVE GREATNESS that is more important. Know yourself. Know your values. It makes it easy to know what to do…regardless of circumstance.

Filed Under: Adult Kenpo Program, Blog/Articles, Junior Helpers, Member Articles, Parents, Storm Team

Three Things Everybody Should Do On Miller’s Kenpo Karate Web Site

July 28, 2011 By Leave a Comment

There are three things everyone should do on our site www.millersdojo.com if you haven’t already.  Our goal is to educate and assist you, whether you are a student of ours or not, in making progress in every aspect of your life to live a happier, healthier life.  There are four things you can do on our site that will allow us to provide that education, motivation and allow you to take those steps toward positive growth.

1) The first thing to do is go to the bottom right hand corner of the homepage, just under our contact info where it says “We’re Social.”  You will find three things you could click on: the feedburner, twitter, and facebook.  Click on the feedburner icon (first icon) and once you do that click on the link “Get Miller’s Kenpo Karate Dojo delivered by e-mail.”  When you do that, it will allow all articles I write to be sent directly to your e-mail.  The articles are about an array of topics that I specialize in: “real” self-defense, health, fitness, awareness, child development, anger management, Mixed Martial Arts, motivation, bullying, weapons, and much, much more.

2) The second thing to do is click on the twitter icon and follow us on twitter.

3) The third thing is click on the facebook icon and “Like” us on Facebook.

We want to keep everybody in the loop when it comes to what we do to better our community.  I ask that if you haven’t done it already take these three steps.  It will take less than 2 minutes.

Any questions e-mail me at michael.miller@millersdojo.com

Filed Under: Adult Kenpo Program, Blog/Articles, Latest news, Member Articles, Parents

A Martial Art for Modern Times

July 5, 2011 By Leave a Comment

This is an article written by Andrew Cauley that was placed on odeum entertainments Web site (www.odeumentertainment.com). Andrew had come in to observe several classes and he participated in an adult class to write an article about us.

Lead by Example, Follow by Choice

Michael Miller’s Kenpo Karate  Dojo teaches a martial art for modern times

I never thought I would get done in by a rubber ball, especially not while I was learning to defend myself during my first experience with Kenpo Karate. That green, squishy, bouncy ball kicked my butt all over the place, but thankfully, I wasn’t the only one.

“I hate the ball,” joked one student of Miller’s Kenpo Karate as we waited in line. Little did I know, but I, too, would soon come to hate the ball. Running across the gymnastic mats during some warm-up exercises, I thought nothing of having to do ten pushups on the dodge ball-sized toy after having easily dispatched thirty between a pushup bar and a set of the Perfect Pushup. This ball, however, was much more than met my eye.

Straining to complete even one pushup as the ball collapsed underneath my meager 150-pound frame, I heard a bit of laughter from the more experienced members of the dojo. I hadn’t realized how out of shape I’d gotten in a couple of months away from a gym or any workout equipment.

“I love it, those are my favorites,” said Michael Miller, the owner and head instructor of Miller’s Kenpo Karate. A fourth-degree black belt, Miller quickly dispatched somewhere between ten and twenty pushups on the ball with no more effort than he would exert tying his shoes before he put the toy away and plowed into what I was really here for: a lesson in American Kenpo.

American Kenpo, or “the art of logical and practical thinking,” as its creator Ed Parker was wont to call it, is a nontraditional martial art. This allows the art to be flexible and ever changing, a trait that can be observed throughout its history. A martial art form originating in Japan, Kenpo underwent several key changes on its path to becoming American Kenpo.

James Mitose forged this path and brought Kosho-ryu Kenpo to Hawaii, calling it Kenpo Jiu-Jitsu, Miller said. At this point, Kenpo was already becoming a sort of hybrid art, focusing both on attacking vital areas through striking and throws, locks, and takedowns. Later, Mitose’s student, William K.S. Chow, further enhanced the art by incorporating both the linear movements of Japanese styles and the circular movements of the Chinese arts, according to Miller.

American Kenpo as we know it was pioneered by Chow’s student, Ed Parker. A street fighter, Golden Gloves boxer, and black-belt in Judo, Parker addressed several issues that allowed American Kenpo to be more effective in street fighting situations, Miller said. After all, how much is a system based on the rules of the ring going to help on the street, where there are no rules?

One of the techniques we covered addressed an important concern: What should I do if I fall down?

I found this to be very interesting; in most of my experiences with martial arts, I wasn’t supposed to fall down, unless I was directing and controlling the fall. However, this was more of a lesson in getting knocked down and how to maintain control of the situation and get back on my feet. It was, in every sense of the word, a realistic tactic, and one that undoubtedly would prove more helpful that almost any punch, kick, or throw that one could be taught, especially for a novice or someone caught up in an actual down and dirty street fight.

“We know, in reality, the smart thing to do is stay on your feet,” Miller explained.

“If I go to the ground on the streets, there are no mats out there. There’s pavement, there’s gravel, there’s whatever else I’m dealing with. But we don’t know if someone’s going to knock us to the ground. So the reality here is, try to avoid the ground, but if you go to the ground, know what you’re doing, and get up. You’re not going to lay around looking for an arm bar when his buddies, cause you know he has buddies, are going to come up to you and kick your face in.”

Now that’s a reality check. This is the logic behind Ed Parker’s system, and the sort of practical situation in which it was designed to be utilized. There are no referees to break up the fight on the street, except for maybe someone’s steel-toed boot. No one is going to wait around while I make time to execute something fancy, and no one is going to blow the whistle if something isn’t fair.

For the exercise, we fell (carefully) on our bottoms, then assumed a ground position that sort of resembled sitting Indian style, only tilted to our sides. With our feet together, our knees bent, one leg laying on the ground and the other in the air in front of us, we guarded our faces with one hand and rested the other behind and beside us on the ground for support. The benefit of this position was three-fold: it provided stability and protection to all vital areas, made it easy to gain leverage, both for attacks and movement, and allowed for us to get up easily when the time was right.

This was the drill: we were to protect the side of us that was vulnerable to the attacking leg of our ‘opponent’ (if the attacker was to switch legs, then all we needed to do was sort of flop the position over, which was easy to accomplish and another benefit of the position) and when the attacker moved toward us, we would use our legs like springs to push ourselves away. Immediately afterward, we would kick our opponent’s leading leg, immediately pushing ourselves away one more time. Afterward, we would stand back up, but the beauty here is in the details.

While explaining the last portion of the exercise, starting with the kick, Miller asked an important question:

“What if I missed?” What do you mean, miss? You’re a black belt, I thought.You aren’t supposed to miss.

“You see, I look at ‘what ifs,’” Miller asserted. “In Jujitsu, there’s no ‘what ifs.’ In Kenpo, there are.”

Sure, maybe a good black belt like Miller wouldn’t miss, but it was always a possibility. And the cold reality was, a person like me could very well miss. After all, I had just been put in my place by a rubber ball. This, in my experience, is what set American Kenpo apart from other martial arts: it’s willingness to change, to adapt, both to the student and the times, and take the present situation on it’s own terms.

Parker said that comparing a traditional art with a modern one was like comparing checkers with chess. I was beginning to see why; it wasn’t just a blind set of rules to follow, at least not at Miller’s school. There was a real pragmatism to what we were learning, and reasoning behind it. We were encouraged to think about what we were doing and ask questions. Miller likened the evolution of American Kenpo to that of technology.

“Do you still go to the nearest phone booth when you are leaving the grocery store and need to call to check up on your mother, or do you have a cell phone?  You see, as times change, so should the art to fit modern times. American Kenpo is modern and always will be because it is constantly evolving.  Traditional styles never change.  They are taught the same way today as they were hundreds of years ago,” Miller said.

Another facet that distinguishes American Kenpo is that it also allows for the personal expression of each individual. After all, it is a form of art, isn’t it?

“Each Kenpo student who learns the system develops his own unique style and continues to grow the system through his own interpretations, knowledge, and experiences,” Miller said. As a result, Kenpo is not only a style, but it creates styles.

“With Kenpo, we teach you how to think. Don’t listen to what I say and take it as gospel, there’s no such thing. Listen to what I say, think about analyze it, dissect it, put in your own experiences, your own knowledge, your own education, come up with your own ideas; that’s what this is about.”

Miller’s classes are tailored both to the age group they are focused on and to the individual. Before each of the classes I had observed, Miller walked around speaking with each person about their day, and during the lesson, he often helped students personally with each exercise, addressing their needs on a personal basis.

As a former CYS caseworker, he has experience working with children and addressing their needs in addition to his years of teaching Kenpo. His classes are broken into age groups that correlate with child-development stages (Little Dragons, ages 4-6; Kenpo Kids, 7-9; Junior, 10-15; and the adult program), and he tailors his instruction to not only teach Kenpo, but also to improve basic skill sets that each age group is prime for, but with a focus on the art of Kenpo. And you wouldn’t know it watching one of his younger classes; as far as I could tell, they were doing Kenpo the whole time. And as far as they could tell, they were too, and it’s because they were, but they were also developing coordination, their overall health and stamina, respect, dignity, self-control, focus, and as a result, self-esteem.

Basic techniques are taught in every class, regardless of age, and of course all classes focus on physical fitness. However, maybe even more important is the focus on personal character traits that directly relate to the program.

“I teach all my students, regardless of age, to have humility, integrity, dignity, and respect.  I won’t stand for any student disrespecting what I have taught him,” Miller said. “Focus, self-control, self-discipline, respect, kindness, and self-confidence are taught in each program.”

“I’m passionate about what really matters in life,” Miller said. “I believe in being kind to others all the time, doing good deeds, helping those who are weak and doing any community service we can do to make a positive impact on our community. One of our main mottos is ‘Lead by Example, Follow by Choice.’”

And come to think of it, every student there displayed this sort of leadership by example. Everyone was friendly, kind, and respectful, and though there might have been a few laughs when I couldn’t do a single pushup on that ball, there were also plenty of pats on the back and words of encouragement. And as soon as that happened, I wanted to go back and try it again. It seemed to me that that’s what it was all about: getting back up off the ground, because inevitably, we all get knocked to the ground, and getting back on the ball, not because we have to, but because we want to. And when we have the help and encouragement of those around us, we follow by choice.

 

If you’re looking to gain self-confidence, better fitness and well-being, stamina, flexibility, better focus, or maybe you’re looking to improve your overall well-being with a program that will teach you self-discipline and personal integrity, then contact Michael Miller at Miller’s Kenpo Karate Dojo at 443 East Main Street, Suite #1, in Bradford, PA. To schedule a free one on one lesson, you may contact Mr. Miller at (814)368-3725.

By: Andrew Cauley

Filed Under: Adult Kenpo Program, Blog/Articles, Junior Program, Latest news, Member Articles, Parents, Storm Team

Guardian Angels Anti-Bullying Leadership Program

June 8, 2011 By Leave a Comment

As most of you are aware, I have become a Guardian Angel under the direction of 25 year Guardian Angel veteran Sean P. Kelley from West Palm Beach, Florida.  My main focus as a Guardian Angel is to begin a Guardian Angels Anti-Bullying Leadership Program at my school, Miller’s Kenpo Karate Dojo, located at 443 East Main Street, Bradford, Pa 16701 to teach the importance of servicing our community and to educate about bullying and how to handle bullying situations. We are on a “Stomp the Bullying” campaign and this active program will do just that.

 

This is a three month voluntary program for children (ages 7 and up) and adults as a service to the community.  The program will include an in depth manual as a reference guide to everything that is taught in the program.  It’s focus is to learn how to be good citizens and to learn how to rectify the bullying epidemic we have in our society by teaching people how not to be a bully, the three T-Steps to verbal harassment and the rules of engagement in dealing with bullies.  Aside from that, self-defense movements, strategies and tactics will also be taught in the program, as well as physical restraint moves to control and negotiate.  The movements taught in the program come from American Kenpo (a modern practical system of self-defense – one of the most comprehensive systems of today) and Gracie Jiu-Jitsu, a world known art that teaches submissions and control movements.

 

Those who enroll in this FREE program, after going through three months of training, the children will graduate as Jr. Angels and the adults will graduate as Guardian Angels.  Graduates of the program will then become leaders for the next group, since every three months we will start the program over with new people.

 

If you want to be a part of our first session this is your opportunity.  Our first session will begin on Sunday, June 26 at 2:00pm.  We will meet every Sunday from 2-3pm.  We want all parents of any child who enrolls to also be a part of this program.  If you aren’t a parent, but would still like to enroll we will gladly take you.

 

If you are interested in signing up e-mail me at michael.miller@millersdojo.com or call me at 814-368-3725.  It’s going to be a great program for our community.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Blog/Articles, Latest news, Parents

Stomp the Bullying

May 13, 2011 By 1 Comment

Bullying is one of the biggest epidemics we face in our society.  Although it’s a major problem for children and young adults, adults also deal with bullying behavior.  The act of bullying encompasses aggressive behavior that is intentional and that involves an imbalance of power or strength. Typically, it’s repeated over time.

 

There are many forms of bullying including: hitting, punching, kicking, pushing, etc. (physical bullying); teasing or name calling (verbal bullying); intimidation using gestures or social exclusion (non-verbal bullying or emotional bullying); and sending insulting messages through e-mail, text messages, facebook, etc. (cyber bullying).

 

Are you aware of this on-going problem?  It’s in the news regularly.  We hear of teenagers committing suicide because of bullying.  Children are haunted by bullying daily and many times it goes unnoticed by parents, teachers, and other authorities.  Other times, it may be noticed, but nothing is done about it.  Only 20% of children who are bullied actually tell their parents.  Parents, I’m sure you have found out that nobody does anything to help your bullied child.  They say they do, but they don’t.  I’ve talked with some parents whose children are being bullied.  They’ve gone through all the proper channels of the school system and nothing is being done.

 

Pennsylvania is among the top five states where bullying is at its highest peak.  The other four include California, New York, Illinois, and Washington.  Statistics show that 160,000 children fear attending school each day because of intimidation and humiliation suffered at the hands of bullies. Bullying causes psychological harm, self-esteem damage and other lasting effects for victims.

 

I, too, have been a victim of bullying.  As a child in Jr. High and High school I was a victim of bullies on some occasions.  I was small and quiet so I had a few bullies pick on me, call me names and sometimes even push me around.  They thought it was funny.  I took a lot of it and I never told anybody at the time.

 

What got me through those bullying situations was my martial arts training.  Most people have a false perception of martial arts.  They think it’s about fighting and teaching kids to fight.  Wrong.  It’s about not fighting.  Yes, we teach children to stand up for themselves and to stand up for what’s right, but we teach them to be kind, to have self-control, self-discipline, respect, focus, and to always do the right thing.  We teach them how to talk themselves out of bullying situations.  Getting physical is ALWAYS last resort and we teach children how to go about that.

 

Because of my martial arts training, I had self-confidence and a healthy self-esteem, so I didn’t let the bullying damage that.  It made me see the situations in a logical frame of mind and not a fantasy frame of mind that produces a distorted perception.  With that said, I was able to ignore it at times and walk away from it at times without it bothering me.  Other times I was able to use verbal Judo to diffuse the situations.  Many bullies went on to someone else because they saw that it wasn’t bothering me.  Bullies look for people who are vulnerable, who are weak.  When they see they are getting to the victim the bullies feel power.  They don’t want to bully people who aren’t bothered by it and who are going to stand up for themselves. There were times where I had to physically protect myself against bullies, but it was always last resort.  When I stood up for myself the bullies left me alone.

 

Since bullying is becoming worse and worse I am stepping up in my community by creating a Stomp the Bullying campaign under the direction of my instructor Sean Kelley (www.seankelley.com) and the Guardian Angels (www.guardianangels.org) where my school Miller’s Kenpo Karate Dojo (www.millersdojo.com) has now become a “martial arts safe place” and official Guardian Angels training facility.  I am creating a volunteer community service program called The Guardian Angels Anti-Bullying Leadership program where I will teach members of our community the importance of servicing our community, how to be good citizens, and how to be good role models.  I will also educate students of this program about all aspects of bullying, and how to handle bullying situations whether they themselves are being bullied or they witness somebody else being bullied.

 

They will learn what bullying really entails, the warning signs of both a bully and someone being bullied, the risk factors, how not to be a target of a bully, common myths about bullying, statistics, and what they can do as citizens to “Stomp the Bullying.”  Also a part of the program will be some self-defense training including awareness, having a logical mindset, verbal Judo, and some physical restraint holds and personal protection methods.

 

This program is a four month program that children ages 7 and up can participate in along with their parents, as well as any adult community member, whether a parent or not.  This program is for children, young adults (teenagers) and adults.  Even if you are an adult who is already well educated in servicing our community we still want you.  The child requirements are to meet during the scheduled times (once per week) at my school Miller’s Kenpo Karate Dojo, do in house community service projects, march in parades, and be good youth role models for members of the society.  You must maintain good grades in school as well.  For adults, your requirements are to meet during the same scheduled times, do local community service projects when we get the opportunity, and be positive role models in our community.  Once the four months is up we will have a graduation ceremony where the children will become Jr. Angels and the adults will become Guardian Angels. Once you become a Guardian Angel you will become leaders for the program, and I will start it all over with new people.

 

My instructor Sean Kelley from Florida who is a 25 year veteran of the Guardian Angels, an International martial arts and self-defense instructor, bodyguard, and is heavy into the security business, will be at my school along with self-defense and tactical firearms instructor Buddy Morrison from Tennessee to assist me with a FREE bullying seminar open to anybody in the community.  This will be held on Friday, May 20, 2011 at Miller’s Kenpo Karate Dojo located at 443 East Main Street in Bradford, Pa from 6:00 – 6:45pm.  We will talk about the program during the seminar for those who are interested.  If you are unable to attend the seminar, but are interested in the program call me at 814-368-3725 or e-mail me at michael.miller@millersdojo.com.

 

About the Author:

 

Michael Miller is a self-defense and personal protection expert who holds a 4th degree black belt in American Kenpo – a modern practical self-defense system, and also teaches boxing, kickboxing, Joe Lewis Fighting Systems, and Gracie Barra Jiu-Jitsu.  He’s an ex caseworker for McKean County Children and Youth Services where he worked with child development, child abuse and neglect, assessing risk, and became certified in the state of Pennsylvania as a Child Welfare Direct Service Worker.  He’s an authority on bullying and how to prevent it and has been featured in Inside Kung-fu and Black Belt magazines numerous times as an expert in his field.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Adult Kenpo Program, Blog/Articles, Junior Helpers, Junior Program, Kenpo Kids Program, Latest news, Member Articles, Parents

Sexual Assault Awareness

April 7, 2011 By Leave a Comment

April is sexual assault awareness month.  It was an honor for me to teach a free self-defense seminar for the local YWCA on April 6.  The seminar went very well and we had around 25 in attendance.  I taught some simple, effective movements to escape from a couple possible wrist grabs and a couple chokes.  Because this is sexual assault awareness month I wanted to write an article about this topic. Included in my article is information I came across about this topic.

 

Sexual assault takes many forms.  It is any unwanted sexual contact including rape, attempted rape, and child sexual abuse.  It can affect people of any gender, age, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or ability. According to the National Violence Against Women Survey, 1 in 6 American women has been the victim of rape or attempted rape.

 

Perpetrators of sexual assault can be friends, acquaintances, family members, or strangers.  People off all walks of life can be a perpetrator.  It doesn’t matter how intelligent a person is, how well he dresses, how much money he makes, or how nice he is.  Always keep your eyes open for warning signs.

The exact definition of “rape,” “sexual assault,” “sexual abuse” and similar terms differs by state. The wording can get confusing, since states often use different words to mean the same thing, or use the same words to describe different things. So, for a precise legal definition, you need to check the law in your state. But here are some general guidelines based on the definitions used by the U.S. Justice Department. Please note that these definitions are a bit graphic, which is inevitable when describing crimes this violent.

Rape is forced sexual intercourse, including vaginal, anal or oral penetration. Penetration may be by a body part or an object.

Rape victims may be forced through threats or physical means. In about 8 out of 10 rapes, no weapon is used other than physical force. Anyone may be a victim of rape: women, men or children, straight or gay.

Sexual assault is unwanted sexual contact that stops short of rape or attempted rape. This includes sexual touching and fondling. (But, be aware: Some states use this term interchangeably with rape.)

Sexual assault can take the form of:

  • Harassment
  • Exposing/flashing
  • Forcing a person to pose for sexual pictures
  • Fondling
  • Unwanted sexual touching

In the most extreme cases, sexual assault may involve force which may include but is not limited to:

  • Use or display of a weapon
  • Physical battering
  • Immobilization of the victim

More often, however, sexual assault involves psychological coercion and taking advantage of an individual who is under duress or incapacitated and, therefore, incapable of making a decision on his/her own (including under the influence of alcohol, drugs and/or prescription medications).

Sexual assault is a crime motivated by a need to control, humiliate and harm. Perpetrators use sexual assault as a weapon to hurt and dominate others.

Common Reactions to Sexual Assault Include:

  • Shock
  • Numbness
  • Loss of control
  • Disorientation
  • Helplessness
  • Sense of vulnerability
  • Fear
  • Self-blame/guilt for “allowing” the crime to happen
  • Feeling that these reactions are a sign of weakness

 

If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual assault please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (800-656-4673) to be connected to the rape crisis center near you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, or visit www.rainn.org for more information.

 

The National Sexual Violence Resource Center can provide you with more information on sexual assault and help you find assistance in your local area.  Visit www.nsvrc.org or call 877-739-3895.

 

(Below is a good article I found and wanted to share)

 

What is Sexual Assault?

Most often when people hear the words “sexual assault” they think of rape. One might automatically picture a stranger jumping out of the bushes to rape a woman walking home from work late at night. While it is true that rape by a stranger is a form of sexual assault, it is vital to include the wide range of unwanted sexual contacts that many people experience in our definition of these words. Sexual assault can include child sexual abuse, rape, attempted rape, incest, exhibitionism, voyeurism, obscene phone calls, fondling, and sexual harassment. There is a range of nonconsensual sexual acts that create a continuum in which each form of sexual assault is linked to the others by their root causes, as well as by the effects they have on individuals and communities. While sexual assault can take many forms, it is important to remember that the loss of power and control that a victim of sexual assault experiences is a common thread.

Child sexual abuse can be defined as any situation in which an adult or another child threatens, forces or manipulates a child into sexual activity. Many times the offender doesn’t need to use physical force with the victim. Instead, they take advantage of their own position of trust and authority. Child sexual abuse can include exposing a child to pornography, fondling the sexual parts of a child’s body, making a child engage in sexual activity with others, and sexually penetrating a child, orally, anally or vaginally with the penis, hand or any object. Incest is intercourse or touching of sexual parts between an adult family member and a child or between siblings.

Rape is any sexual intercourse with a person without his or her consent. It is an act of violence that uses sex as a weapon. There are many different types of rape that are important to distinguish as well. Stranger rape happens when the victim does not know his or her offender. Many people believe that this type of rape only happens to women who dress a certain way, walk alone at night, or park in parking garages. The reality of stranger rape is that it happens during the day and at night, to people from all different walks of life, and in lots of different places.

Acquaintance rape describes a rape in which the victim and the perpetrator are known to each other. The perpetrator might be a partner, coworker, best friend or neighbor. Did you know that this is the most common type of rape? 84 percent of rapes happen among people who know one another. Most of the time a person is raped by someone they know, trust, or love.

Date rape is a specific kind of acquaintance rape, referring to a rape that occurs between two people who are dating partners. Often times the victim is emotionally manipulated or coerced into having sex with his or her partner. Marital rape, one of the least talked about forms of sexual assault, is rape between husband and wife. Because of personal and societal barriers to reporting marital rape, its prevalence is probably higher than we are aware.

Sexual harassment is any unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature. Sexual harassment often manifests itself in subtle ways, such as sexually suggestive comments, unwanted touching, risqué jokes, or blatant demand for sexual contact. In most cases, these actions take place within work or educational settings where both the offender and the victim are required to be in close contact.

There are many types of sexual assault. It is important to understand the differences between them, as well as how they are linked together. Unfortunately, because of the silence that surrounds sexual assault, there have been many myths created over time to help explain why it happens and who it happens to. We often hear things like “only women can be raped”, “a husband can’t rape his wife”, “she asked for it by wearing those shorts”, and “that child must be lying – his father is a good man.” We know that these things are not true. Both women and men can be sexually assaulted. Rape can occur within a marriage. A victim never asks to be raped and is never to blame for behavior of the perpetrator. People who sexually assault are often people who go to church, have good jobs, and are well liked by their community.

Common Effects of Sexual Assault

Victims of sexual assault often experience a number of common effects. These may include:

  • Flashbacks
  • Nightmares
  • Difficulty falling or staying asleep
  • Anger and rage
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Hypervigilence
  • Anxiety and panic
  • Self-blame, guilt, and shame
  • Emotional numbing
  • Physical symptoms and health problems

What to Do if Someone You Know is Sexually Assaulted

Believe them. A person has very little to gain by making up a story about sexual assault.

  • Listen to them. A victim of sexual assault needs someone who will listen to what they have to say without blame or judgment.
  • Do not tell them what to do. A person who has been sexually assaulted has had every ounce of power and control stripped from them. They only way they are going to gain that power back is by making decisions for themselves.
  • Give them information, provide them options, but don’t tell them what to do. A great place to get information is your local sexual assault center.

[end article]

Earlier in my article I mentioned “warning signs.”  Below is a write up I found to be extremely accurate.  This list is about the signs of how to predict if someone may be physically abusive.  Women do not want to be in physically abusive relationships.  So, women, pay VERY close attention to the following signs of a physically abusive man.

   

1.Jealousy: At the beginning of a relationship, an abuser will always say that jealousy is a sign of love: jealousy has nothing to do with love, it is a sign of insecurity and possessiveness.  The abuser will question her about who she talks to, accuse her of flirting, or be jealous of time she spends with family, friends, or children. As the jealousy progresses, the abuser may call her repeatedly at work (or home) or drop by unexpectedly. The abuser may refuse to let her work for fear she will meet someone else, or exhibit other strange behaviors (like checking her car mileage or asking friends to watch her).


2.Controlling Behavior: At first the batterer will say that this behavior is because of concern for the woman’s safety, her need to use her time well, or her need to make good decisions. The abuser will be angry if the woman is “late” coming back from the store or an appointment, or will question her closely about where she went, and who she talked to.  As this behavior gets worse, the abuser may not let the women make personal decisions about the house, her clothing or going to church, may keep all the money or even require she ask permission to leave the house or room.
3. Quick Involvement: Many battered women dated or knew their abuser for less than six months before they were engaged or living together.  The abuser comes on like a whirlwind, “you are the only person I could ever talk to, I have never felt loved like this by anyone.” The abuser’s need is desperate and will pressure the woman to commit to the relationship.
4.Unrealistic Expectations:  The abuser becomes dependent on the woman for all needs. He expects her to be the perfect wife, mother, lover, and friend. The abuser will say things like “If you love me, I am all you need, you are all I need.”  The woman is automatically expected to know each emotional and physical need of the abuser.
5.Isolation: The abuser attempts to isolate the woman from all personal and social resources.  If she has men friends, she is a “whore”; if she has women friends, she is a lesbian; if she is close to family, she is tied to apron strings.  The abuser claims that people who are supportive of her are troublemakers and may want to live in the country without a phone, or may not let her use the car, or try to keep her from working or going to school.


6.Blames Others for Problems: If the abuser is chronically unemployed, it is always someone else’s fault.  The abuser may make mistakes and then blame the woman for being distracting or upsetting.  The woman may be blamed for anything that goes wrong.
7.Blames Others for own Feelings: The abuser will tell the woman “you make me mad,” “you’re hurting me by not doing what I ask,” “I can’t help being angry.”  The abuser will use feelings to manipulate the woman. Harder to recognize are claims such as “you make me happy”.  The message in each case is “you control how I feel”.
8.Hypersensitivity: The abuser is easily insulted and claims that feelings are “hurt” when actually s/he’s really angry, or the abuser interprets the slightest setbacks as personal attacks.  The abuser will “rant and rave” about the injustice of things that have happened – things that are really just part of living like being asked to work overtime, getting a traffic ticket, being told that something he does is annoying, being asked to help with chores.


9.Cruelty to Animals or Children: The batterer may punish animals brutally or be insensitive to their pain; or may expect children to be capable of doing things far beyond their ability (whips a two year old for wetting their diaper) or may tease young children until they cry. (60% of men who beat their partners, also beat their children). The abuser may refuse to interact with the children by not allowing them to eat at the table or expecting them to stay in their rooms in the evenings.
10.”Playful” Use of Force in Sex : The abuser may like to throw the woman down and hold her during sex, or may want to act out fantasies during sex where the woman is helpless. The idea of rape may excite the abuser. The abuser may show little concern about whether the woman wants to have sex and use sulking or anger to manipulate her into compliance. The abuser may start having sex with the woman while she is sleeping, or demand sex when she is ill or tired.
11.Verbal Abuse:  In addition to saying things that are meant to be cruel and hurtful, the abuser may verbally degrade the woman by cursing her or diminishing her accomplishments.  The abuser may tell her that she’s stupid and unable to function on her own.  This may involve waking her up to verbally abuse her or not letting her sleep.
12.Rigid Sex Roles:  The batterer expects a woman to serve him; and may require that she stay at home, that she obey in all things – even things that are criminal in nature. The abuser sees women as inferior, and unable to be a whole person without a relationship.


13. Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde:  Many women are confused by their abuser’s sudden change in mood — they will describe the abuser’s behavior as “nice” one minute, but the next minute “explosive” or “crazy”.  Explosiveness and mood swings are typical of batterers and are related to other characteristics such as hypersensitivity.
14.Past Battering:  The batterer may admit to hitting previous partners, but will blame their partner for provoking the attacks. The woman may hear from relatives or ex-spouses of previous abuse. The fact is, a batterer will beat any partner: situational circumstances do not make a person abusive.
15. Threats of Violence: This would include any threat of physical force meant to control the woman. “I’ll slap your mouth off,” “I’ll kill you,” “I’ll break your neck.”  Most intimate partners do not threaten their mates, but a batterer will try to excuse this behavior by saying “everybody talks like that”.
16. Breaking or Striking Objects:  This behavior is used as punishment (breaking loved possessions), but is mostly used to terrorize the woman into submission.  The abuser may beat on tables with fists, throw objects around or near the woman. Again, this is remarkable behavior in that only immature people beat on objects in the presence of other people in order to threaten them.
17. Any Force During an Argument : This may involve a batterer holding a woman down, physically restraining her from leaving the room, or pushing or shoving. (The abuser may hold the woman against a wall and say “you’re going to listen to me”.

 

The Commission on Domestic Violence

WARNING – WARNING – WARNING

How your abuser can discover your Internet activities.

(a) e-mail: if your abuser has access to your e-mail account, he or she may be able to read your incoming or outgoing mail.  If you believe your account is secure, make sure you choose a password he or she will not be able to guess.  You can have your password changed!

If your abuser sends you threatening or harassing e-mail messages, they may be printed and saved as evidence of this abuse.  Additionally, the messages may constitute a federal offense.  For more information, contact your local United States Attorneys Office.

(b) history / cache file: if your abuser knows how to read your computer’s history or cache file (automatically saved web pages and graphics), he or she may be able to see information you have viewed recently on the Internet.

You can clear your history or empty your cache file in your browser’s settings.

  • Netscape – Pulldown Edit menu, select Preferences.  Click on Navigator and choose ‘Clear History’.  Click on Advanced then Select Cache.  Click on ‘Clear Disk Cache’.
  • Microsoft Explorer – Pulldown View menu, Select Internet Options.  On General Page, under Temporary Internet Files, click on ‘Delete Files’.  Under History click on “Clear History”.
  • AOL – Pulldown Members menu, select Preferences.  Click on WWW icon. Select Advanced.  Select Purge Cache.
    Very Important!
  • Windows 95/98 ReCycle Bin – Right click on Desktop Icon for Trash or ReCycle and Select “Empty ReCycle Bin”.

 

Information by American Bar Association, 750 N. Lake Shore Dr., Chicago, Ill 60611  312/988-5000

RAPE Myths and Facts (done by Roger Williams University)

Myth: Rape is caused by lust or uncontrollable sexual urges and the need for sexual gratification.

Fact: Rape is an act of physical violence and domination that is not motivated by sexual gratification.

Myth: Once a man gets sexually aroused, he can’t just stop.

Fact: Men do not physically need to have sex after becoming sexually excited. Moreover, they are still able to control themselves after becoming aroused.

Myth: Women often lie about rape or falsely accuse someone of rape.

Fact: Statistical studies indicate false reports make up 2% or less of the reported cases of sexual assault. This figure is approximately the same for other types of crimes. Only 1 out of 10 rapes are actually reported. Rapes by someone the victim knows are the least likely to be reported.

Myth: Women provoke sexual assault by their appearance. Sexual attractiveness is a primary reason why a rapist selects a victim.

Fact: Rapists do not select their victims by their appearance. They select victims who are vulnerable and accessible. Victims of sexual assault range in age groups from infants to the elderly. Sexual attractiveness is not an issue.

Myth: Sexual assault is a topic that only concerns women, and men do not have to be concerned about sexual assault.

Fact: According to recent rape crisis center statistics, men, both straight and gay, suffered 10% of the sexual assaults reported in the US last year. (Almost all were raped by other men.) In addition, men have wives, friends, sisters, mothers, and daughters who may someday need assistance in coping with sexual assault. Rape is a concern for everyone.

Myth: If a woman really did not want to be raped, she could fight off her attacker.

Fact: Even if the rapist is not carrying a weapon, the element of surprise, shock, and fear, or the threat of harm can overpower a survivor.

Facts About Date Rape

Here are some data collected from a national study of college students:

  • 1 in 4 college women have either been raped or suffered attempted rape.
  • 84% of the women who are raped knew their assailants.
  • 57% of the rapes occurred on a date.
  • Women ages 16-24 have 4 times higher risk of being raped than any other population group.
  • 1 in 12 male students surveyed had committed acts that met the legal definition of rape.
  • 16% of male students who had committed rape took part in episodes with more than one attacker’s gang rape.
  • 75% of male students and 55% of female students involved in date rape had been drunk or using drugs.*
  • 33% of males surveyed said that they would commit rape if they could escape detection.**
  • 25% of men surveyed believed that rape was acceptable if: the woman asks the man out; or the man pays for the date; or the woman goes back to the man’s room after the date. ***

* Koss, M.P. (1988). Hidden Rape: Incidence, Prevalence and descriptive Characteristics of Sexual Aggression and Victimization in a National Sample of College Students. In Burgers, A.W. (ed.) Sexual Assault. Vol II. New York: Garland Publishing Co.

** Malamuth, N.M. (1986). Predictors of Natural Sexual Aggression. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 50, 953-962.

*** Muehlenhard, C.L., Friedman, D.E. & Thomas, C.M. (1985). Is Date Rape Justifiable? Psychology of Women Quarterly, 9, 297-310

Facts About Sexual Assault
  • 1 out of 4 women is sexually assaulted at some point in her life.
  • 1 out of 6 men is sexually assaulted at some point in his life.
  • Every 15 seconds a woman is beaten by her husband or boyfriend. (FBI Uniform Crime Report, 1991)
  • 2-4 million women are abused every year. (American Medical Association)
  • 95-98% of victims of domestic violence are women. (Bureau of Statistics)
  • Approximately 25% of all women in the U.S. will be abused by current or former partners some time during their lives. (American Medical Association)
  • 82.8% of sexual assaults occur before the victim reaches the age of 25.
  • 78% of sexual assault victims were assaulted by someone they knew.
  • Up to 57% of rapes happened on a date.
  • Over 66% of sexual assault victims reported NO visible physical injuries.
  • Over 50% of victims and 70% of assailants had used drugs or alcohol prior to the assault..
  • Fewer than 20% of crimes of sexual violence are reported to the police.
  • Approximately 2% of acquaintance rapes are reported to the police.
  • Only 2% of reported sexual assaults have been determined to be false reports.
  • 1 in 8 college women is the victim of rape during her college years. 1 in 4 is the victim of attempted rape.
  • 95% of these rape victims did not report the rape to officials.
  • 25% percent of women were raped and/or physically assaulted by a current or former spouse, partner or date during their lifetime.
  • 84% of the women knew the men who raped them; 57% were on dates.

* Koss, Mary P., and C. Gedycz, and N. Wisniewski. “The Scope of Rape Incidence and Prevalence of Sexual Aggression and Victimization in a National Sample of Higher Education Students.” Journal of Consulting and Clinical psychology. 55(1987), 162-70.

** Thoennes, Nancy, and Tjaden, Patricia. “Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Violence Against Women: Findings of the National Violence Against Women Survey.” U.S. Department of Justice, November 1998.

Date rape drugs:

Gamma-hydroxybutyrate (GHB)

Slang or Street Names: Grievous Bodily Harm, G, Liquid Ecstasy, Georgia Home Boy

  • GHB can be produced in clear liquid, white powder, tablet, and capsule forms, and it is often used in combination with alcohol, making it even more dangerous. GHB has been increasingly involved in poisonings, overdoses, “ACQUAINTANCE RAPES,” and fatalities.
  • GHB is usually abused either for its intoxicating/sedative/euphoriant properties or for its growth hormone-releasing effects, which can build muscles.
  • Some individuals are synthesizing GHB in home laboratories. Ingredients in GHB, gamma-butyrolactone (GBL) and 1,4-butanediol, can also be converted by the body into GHB. These ingredients are found in a number of dietary supplements available in health food stores and gymnasiums to induce sleep, build muscles, and enhance sexual performance.
  • GHB is a central nervous system depressant that can relax or sedate the body. At higher doses it can slow breathing and heart rate to dangerous levels.
  • GHB’s intoxicating effects begin 10 to 20 minutes after the drug is taken. The effects typically last up to 4 hours, depending on the dosage. At lower doses, GHB can relieve anxiety and produce relaxation; however, as the dose increases, the sedative effects may result in sleep and eventual coma or death.
  • Overdose of GHB can occur rather quickly, and the signs are similar to those of other sedatives: drowsiness, nausea, vomiting, headache, loss of consciousness, loss of reflexes, impaired breathing, and ultimately death.
  • GHB is cleared from the body relatively quickly, so it is sometimes difficult to detect in emergency rooms and other treatment facilities.
Rohypnol

Slang or Street Names: Roofies, Rophies, Roche, Forget-me Pill

  • Rohypnol (flunitrazepam) belongs to the class of drugs known as benzodiazepines (such as Valium, Halcion, Xanax, and Versed). It is not approved for prescription use in the United States, although it is approved in Europe and is used in more than 60 countries as a treatment for insomnia, as a sedative, and as a presurgery anesthetic.
  • Rohypnol is tasteless and odorless, and it dissolves easily into carbonated beverages. The sedative and toxic effects of Rohypnol are aggravated by concurrent use of alcohol. Even without alcohol, a dose of Rohypnol as small as 1 mg can impair a victim for 8 to 12 hours.
  • Rohypnol is usually taken orally, although there are reports that it can be ground up and snorted.
  • The drug can cause profound “anterograde amnesia”; that is, individuals may not remember events that they experienced while under the effects of the drug. This may be why one of the street names for Rohypnol is “the forget-me pill” and it has been reportedly used in SEXUAL ASSAULTS.
  • Other adverse effects associated with Rohypnol include decreased blood pressure, drowsiness, visual disturbances, dizziness, confusion, gastrointestinal disturbances, and urinary retention.
Protect Yourself!

Here are some precautions you can take.

  • Don’t accept open drinks (alcoholic or non-alcoholic from others you do not know or trust; this includes drinks that come in a glass.
  • When in bars or clubs always get your drink directly from the bartender and do not take your eyes off the bartender or your order; don’t use the waitress or let somebody go to the bar for you.
  • At parties, only accept drinks in closed containers: bottles, cans, or tetra packs.
  • Never leave your drink unattended or turn your back on your table.
  • Do not drink from open beverage sources like punch bowls, pitchers, tubs or community water/juice bottles.
  • Keep your eyes and ears open; if there is talk of date rape drugs or if friends seem “too intoxicated” for what they have taken, leave the party or club immediately and don’t go back!

Sources
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, National Institutes of Health, National Institute on Drug Abuse, 6001 Executive Blvd., Room 5213, MSC 9561, Bethesda, MD 20892-9561 and http://teenadvice.about.com/

[end article]

I hope you’ve enjoyed this article.  I provided a lot of good information.  Please share it with as many women as possible.  If you ever have any questions please call me at 814-368-3725 or e-mail me at michael.miller@millersdojo.com.

About the Author:

 

Michael Miller is a self-defense and personal protection expert with intensive training in sexual assault education, violent predators, child abuse, child development and more. He’s been featured several times in Black Belt and Inside Kung-fu magazines and has been educating women and children in awareness and personal protection for over 13 years.  He is available for seminars on an array of topics to better the community.

 

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