Principles We Follow at Miller’s Dojo

I have certain principles I believe in and follow that I expect my students to follow as well.  It’s easy at times to stray from our path and become easily influenced by negative things.  By reciting the principles below every day we can keep them fresh in our minds so that we don’t let the power of negative influence take over our lives and hinder the process of the ultimate goals of our journey in life.  Life is precious and we are on this earth for a reason.  I challenge everyone reading this to learn to follow these principles and I can assure you that your life will be healthier and happier.

-         You can be anything you want to be – how bad do you want it?

-         Never, EVER, give up. Nothing is ever accomplished by quitting.

-         Give 100 percent effort, 100 percent of the time.

-         Be realistic, but push yourself

-         Strive for progress, not perfection.  You will always fall short of perfection, but you can always make progress each day.

-         Be a better person today than you were yesterday

-         Be kind and humble, but have a warrior mindset

-         You are your toughest opponent

-         Train hard and enjoy the benefits

-         Be a good winner and a good loser – you always learn something

-         Set a good example by being a good role model

-         Make each day your masterpiece

-         Try to resolve conflicts without fighting – fight in the ring

 

I’m not saying you will never slip up here and there.  We are not perfect and never will be, but if you sincerely try your best to follow these principles they will help you become all you are capable of becoming. 

TCB…

Our Mission at Miller’s Kenpo Karate

At Miller’s Kenpo Karate we believe in providing the best methods possible to succeed in all aspects of life.  We genuinly care about every student and the progress that the student makes.   We will do whatever we can to help every student reach his or her full potential and accomplish the goals he or she sets.  At our school it’s about the students, not the instructors.  Any martial arts studio that focuses on the instructors’s accomplishments or the instructors pocket book is a place where a student will be limited and will receive nothing more than a false sense of security.  An instructor with an ego, boasting about how great he or she is while strutting around with his or her arms crossed barking orders is a sure sign of a poor instructor who produces poor quality students and gives away belts to keep students coming and paying.   Instructors who are focused on themselves cannot help others become all they are capable of becoming.  As a student you are much more concerned with what an instructor can do for you, rather than what the instructor has accomplished.  With that said, we wanted to share our mission at our school as a reminder. 

 

Our Mission:

 

The Objective

To teach students how to think and become self – correcting through learning concepts, principles, and theories that are practical in thought and action with realistic modern training modalities to better their lives on all levels, while creating a Kenpo mindset allowing logical and practical thinking through personal interpretation, analyzing, dissecting, and creating to become the best they are capable of becoming at their personal style of Kenpo by always remaining a student who is humble, loyal, respectful, disciplined, motivated, and leads by example through appropriate behaviors and character.

The Purpose

To improve the lives of every student who walks through the studio door by teaching proper values as well as high impact drills to help build better balance, coordination, agility, flexibility, stamina, strength, cardiovascular health, and muscular endurance to create a much happier and healthier student who is motivated to set goals, and stay on course to achieving those goals while being focused and disciplined, creating self-confidence and a healthy self-esteem. Also, to teach students to learn to be optimistic and take personal responsibility for their own lives while learning a modern practical system of self-defense and personal protection based on logic and reason, not tradition, while molding their own personal style of Kenpo tailored to them, eventually becoming fully qualified black belts who are role models for our community.

The Plan

To teach quality classes that focus on improving every student each class, as well as to get on a personal level with each student so that the student can be properly taught according to his or her ability, desires, needs, thoughts, personality and body type to produce a student who has reached his or her full potential and looks forward to a continued journey of success. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Black Belt – What does it Mean Today?

Back in the day, a black belt was like a superhero. He could break bricks with his hand, concrete slabs with his head, and boards with his fingers all while yelling a gut wrenching sound from his diaphragm with a piercing look in his eyes. Just by seeing his amazing power, focus, and control, you knew that this person could drop any punk who was dumb enough to attack him. Aside from his ability to break things, he could do splits, kick above his head with no effort, and had a confidence that spewed from every pore of his body. It was awesome.

In the old times, there was only one belt – white, and its purpose was to hold your uniform top together. The practitioners found that after all the years of training, the white belt turned black from sweat and dirt, which then symbolized that if you were wearing a black belt, you had been doing it a long time, because it took years for it to get that dirty. Later, a color belt system was created to show the different levels. It gave students a sense of achievement and a way to set short term goals. The reality was that most students would quit if they were a white belt for several years and then had only the black belt to be promoted to.

The black belt symbolized an advanced practitioner – someone who had mastered the basics and stood above all others under him. A black belt was tough, but kind. He could fight, but avoided them. He could break bones, but would rather shake hands. He was a warrior, but stood for peace. A black belt was EARNED and RESPECTED. Is a black belt viewed the same way nowadays? Not hardly, but it depends on who is viewing it and who the black belt is.

Non martial artists view a black belt one of two ways – either the fallacy that the black belt is someone you don’t mess with because he is unstoppable, or that having a black belt doesn’t mean anything when it comes to fighting. So you have two extremes – either a black belt is indestructible, or isn’t tough at all. Usually, however, many non martial artists are in the first group viewing black belts as nobody to mess with. The non martial artists in this category primarily base their belief off the movies they’ve seen. They saw Chuck Norris kick the crap out of eight guys at once in an episode of Walker Texas Ranger so they believe that’s what black belts can do. Sorry, but it’s a television show. Think about it: do you really think anybody could take out eight guys by himself? Although there are ways to get out of that situation, even by taking out two or three of them, but to beat the tar out of all eight guys and the black belt walking away unharmed? Not going to happen, unless he is armed.

Those on the other side of the coin, who view black belts as nobody’s, are usually ego driven tough guy wannabe’s who call themselves street fighters and are infatuated with wanting people to think they are tough. Other possibilities include: they saw a black belt get beat up by someone and the belt lost all validity; they saw that the black belt didn’t look like a black belt when throwing punches and kicks (in other words the punches and kicks looked horrible); or, they saw the black belt doing acrobatics and using unrealistic weapons like fans and swords, which made them realize that the only place that kind of stuff works is in the Dojo (training hall) when the training partner stands there for you with no resistance.

In the martial arts world, however, the black belt is viewed in several different ways. Most students have a goal of becoming a black belt. It’s a great achievement if you actually earn it. The problem is, nowadays, a black belt isn’t what it used to be. First off you have little kids getting them – something that is completely bizarre. No offense, but what is a 6 year old black belt going to do? He wouldn’t have a prayer of defending himself against an older punk – let’s say 10 years old – who decides to push him around, unless luck took over.

What I’ve found in today’s society is that 75 percent of black belts are not qualified to wear that rank – in my perception of what a black belt should be. The other 25 percent make up what a black belt should be (physically and mentally), in my view. The black belt has lost validity due to children getting them and due to people buying them and not earning them. Many instructors will promote people up through all the ranks quickly for the money. They end up with black belts who not only look horrible, but also couldn’t protect themselves if their lives depended on it. Not to mention, these so called black belts have a false belief system of actually thinking they are capable of defending themselves in any situation. The instructors who foolishly promote people like that are setting so many students up for failure and could possibly get them killed someday.

Another thing to ponder is that there are ten degrees of black. This means when you first get your black belt it’s actually a first degree black belt. Down the road you will get a second degree then third, fourth, etc. With that said, what I have seen quite often is rank jumping. I’ve seen unworthy instructors go from 4th to 7th completely skipping over 5th and 6th. I’ve also seen 3rd to 5th, 5th to 8th and 7th to 10th. Funny thing is, most of these people aren’t even good enough to be wearing a 1st degree black, in my opinion. If you are a Jiu-Jitsu 3rd degree black belt you shouldn’t be screwing up basic arm bars. If you are a Taekwondo 7th degree black belt, you better be able to kick above your waist. There is no excuse for jumping rank. Personally, to me, a black belt is a black belt, and I feel you will either continue to grow or you won’t. That’s where the other degrees come into play. If you continue to grow and mature as a martial artist you deserve to get higher degrees. If you don’t grow, you don’t deserve higher degrees. Since unworthy black belts keep getting higher degrees, nowadays, being higher ranked doesn’t make you better. I’ve seen several 6th and 7th degree black belts who aren’t as good as some 2nd and 3rd degrees I’ve worked with.

I’ve also noticed in a lot of cases that the higher up in the degrees people go, the less they do and the worse they become. If you are worse now than you were two years ago, you don’t deserve being promoted to another degree of black. You don’t deserve birthday cake rank – just because you got another year older, so another year IN the art. The thing is there is a huge difference between being IN the art and being AT the art. Someone who is IN the art for 10 years is nowhere near someone who has been AT the art for 4 years. Paying your monthly fee on time, and showing up to class once in a while doesn’t mean you are doing what you are supposed to do and doesn’t mean you will be ranked every 3-4 months. Yes, most schools will do that, but those are the schools that end up with horrible black belts. Also, as an instructor, just standing in front of class barking orders all the time and never training yourself, is not setting a good example. By training, I mean actually breaking a sweat. I train everyday. I train with my students. Yes, I teach them, correct them, assist them, and motivate them, but I still work out with them, partner up with them, spar with them, etc. What better way to set the example and for them to believe in you than by you showing them by being able to do everything you are asking them to do?

Personally, I don’t base my opinion of somebody according to belt color. I base my opinion according to her character and her actions. If I see a black belt on the mats, I pay attention to how she carry’s herself. Is she helpful to the under ranks or is she strutting around acting better than everybody? Is she working out or just standing around? Is she a talker, or a doer? I love black belts who talk but never do. The one’s that talk like they are great, but will never spar, or never roll (Jiu-Jitsu). For example, if you tell me you know Jiu-Jitsu and hold a pretty good rank in it, but you won’t roll, you are full of it. The old adage, “actions speak louder than words” comes into play here. I see it all the time.

Back to the question, what does a black belt mean today? In my view, the black belt doesn’t mean anything unless you earned it. If you’ve worked as hard as you are capable of working for several years accumulating some bumps and bruises along the way – possibly even shed a few tears, and pushed yourself to never settle for where you are at and to always strive for improvement, then that black belt is something you deserved. Now that you are a black belt, your training begins.

I’ve noticed in a lot of cases that once people are promoted to black belt they think they have reached the top. Some think they don’t need instructors anymore and others think now that they are black belts they don’t have to train anymore. Why is it in most schools black belts just stand around while everybody else works out? When you are training it is a journey, not a destination. I know for me, I work harder and harder every year. I gain more knowledge and try to improve my physical skill daily. And, it’s not for rank. In my heart and in my mind rank doesn’t mean a thing. That is just my opinion for my personal life. I had a goal of becoming a black belt and it was an awesome accomplishment; but since I have become an instructor and have traveled all around the United States training with the top martial artists in the world and teaching at seminars, rank has lost value for me. In fact, most of the time, I don’t even wear my black belt. I usually teach in Gi pants and a Miller’s Dojo t-shirt with no belt. I put the full uniform on and wear my belt only once in a while at my school, and anytime I teach seminars at other schools or attend seminars. Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of who I was promoted under for my degrees of black and I know I earned every one of them, but I’m more interested in knowledge and skill – not belts. I’ve fought in the ring and protected myself several times on the street and my belts had nothing to do with it.

Truth is the concept of a black belt will never have a definitive definition. It’s a subjective thing – everybody will have different opinions about what a black belt should be and even martial arts masters will have their own opinions that differ from other masters. In a lot of schools, becoming a black belt is about how many Katas you have memorized, which has nothing to do with being able to protect yourself. In other schools it’s about who you beat in tournament sparring. If you are an orange belt and you beat a blue belt, you become a blue belt. The way some people get black belts is totally asinine, but again, the black belt will never be the same all around – it’s impossible, because there are so many different martial arts styles out there that a black belt can’t be the same all around. Aside from that, you could take 10 black belts in the same style or system, even under the same instructor, and you will have 10 different black belts. One may be better at point sparring, another may be better at full contact, another may be better at forms, another may be a better kicker, etc.

To me, as I mentioned earlier, the only way the black belt means something is if you earned it. My personal definition of a black belt is that she should be able to protect herself pretty effortlessly, be able to spar a few full-contact rounds without getting knocked out or giving up, be able to teach, have good character, respect all people, have glowing confidence, always stand up for what’s right, lead by example, always help others, be civic minded, have a teachable spirit, never stop learning, and have no ego.

It used to be that 1 out of every 100 students became a black belt, because it was so difficult to reach. Now everybody who sticks around and hands in a monthly check becomes a black belt. That should put things in perspective for you. It used to be getting a black belt was like getting a PHD. Notice not everybody gets a PHD; only those who put in all the hours of schooling and hard work by studying and getting good grades. Nowadays, getting a black belt is like graduating kindergarten – tough feat there; and the only PHD we would be talking about would be piled high and deep.

I know this was a long article that mostly covered my views of the black belt and belt rank in general from a martial arts expert viewpoint who’s honor, dignity, and integrity are more important than taking money to give away false rank. I came across a similar article about belt rank that I really enjoyed and I am going to share that with you now. It was written by a guy named Sami Ibrahim. Here it is:

BELT RANK

One schools master is another schools novice. One studios black belt students are another studios orange belt students. Even within the same martial arts system and same organization you will see the inconsistency or disparity in equally ranked students. Even in the same school and with the same instructor no two students are the same in skill or understanding who have the same rank why?

Take for example a room of white belt students who are learning the Upper Block Basic. Each student sees the same move and works to get it right repeatedly in class, the instructor goes around making simple corrections until all the students are on the right track. If the upper block is a required basic for the next belt rank test, what is considered knowing it?

Is it simply that the student can make the motion that resembles the instructors motion superficially or does the student need to have all the joints at the correct alignment? Does the student have to demonstrate 1, 2, 3 maybe 8 applications with that basic? Is the student expected to know the when and when not to of that basic or do they have to show they can use it reflexively during a sparring portion of the test? Maybe some of those things will be required by the time they are third degree black belts or maybe not.

Some of those students will over the next few years put in countless hours of training at home while others will only train when they come to class. Some of those students will spend countless hours in research and experimentation with a given basic and others will never give it much thought. In the end some arbitrary test will award some token of progress. Later down the road the student or customer if you’re the commercial sort, who has met the tests and payment requirements can be given a teaching certificate that amounts to the instructor or associations endorsement that said individual is a capable of teaching the system.

The belt ranking system is idealistic in theory but not in application. In these modern times the value placed on the mighty dollar helps sway the vote, helps that instructor look at OTHER FACTORS…in promotion, such as well the guy lost weight and came to class on time, sure he still moves like a Yak but he quit smoking and he is such a nice guy, I guess I can overlook his lack of skill and award him a brown belt that he can grow into. Sure the boys still young but I can give him a Jr black belt after all his mom is rich and wants to take private lessons. In the end, the belt ranking system does help put food on the table or pay the rent and all those other things but as far as maintaining some kind of standard of measurement of skill or knowledge forget about it. These days all it really does is promote inflated egos and overconfident, unskilled teachers.

A belt ranking system is indeed a tool but for what true purpose lol (greed, control, bait, etc)

A Martial Art for Modern Times

This is an article written by Andrew Cauley that was placed on odeum entertainments Web site (www.odeumentertainment.com). Andrew had come in to observe several classes and he participated in an adult class to write an article about us.

Lead by Example, Follow by Choice

Michael Miller’s Kenpo Karate  Dojo teaches a martial art for modern times

I never thought I would get done in by a rubber ball, especially not while I was learning to defend myself during my first experience with Kenpo Karate. That green, squishy, bouncy ball kicked my butt all over the place, but thankfully, I wasn’t the only one.

“I hate the ball,” joked one student of Miller’s Kenpo Karate as we waited in line. Little did I know, but I, too, would soon come to hate the ball. Running across the gymnastic mats during some warm-up exercises, I thought nothing of having to do ten pushups on the dodge ball-sized toy after having easily dispatched thirty between a pushup bar and a set of the Perfect Pushup. This ball, however, was much more than met my eye.

Straining to complete even one pushup as the ball collapsed underneath my meager 150-pound frame, I heard a bit of laughter from the more experienced members of the dojo. I hadn’t realized how out of shape I’d gotten in a couple of months away from a gym or any workout equipment.

“I love it, those are my favorites,” said Michael Miller, the owner and head instructor of Miller’s Kenpo Karate. A fourth-degree black belt, Miller quickly dispatched somewhere between ten and twenty pushups on the ball with no more effort than he would exert tying his shoes before he put the toy away and plowed into what I was really here for: a lesson in American Kenpo.

American Kenpo, or “the art of logical and practical thinking,” as its creator Ed Parker was wont to call it, is a nontraditional martial art. This allows the art to be flexible and ever changing, a trait that can be observed throughout its history. A martial art form originating in Japan, Kenpo underwent several key changes on its path to becoming American Kenpo.

James Mitose forged this path and brought Kosho-ryu Kenpo to Hawaii, calling it Kenpo Jiu-Jitsu, Miller said. At this point, Kenpo was already becoming a sort of hybrid art, focusing both on attacking vital areas through striking and throws, locks, and takedowns. Later, Mitose’s student, William K.S. Chow, further enhanced the art by incorporating both the linear movements of Japanese styles and the circular movements of the Chinese arts, according to Miller.

American Kenpo as we know it was pioneered by Chow’s student, Ed Parker. A street fighter, Golden Gloves boxer, and black-belt in Judo, Parker addressed several issues that allowed American Kenpo to be more effective in street fighting situations, Miller said. After all, how much is a system based on the rules of the ring going to help on the street, where there are no rules?

One of the techniques we covered addressed an important concern: What should I do if I fall down?

I found this to be very interesting; in most of my experiences with martial arts, I wasn’t supposed to fall down, unless I was directing and controlling the fall. However, this was more of a lesson in getting knocked down and how to maintain control of the situation and get back on my feet. It was, in every sense of the word, a realistic tactic, and one that undoubtedly would prove more helpful that almost any punch, kick, or throw that one could be taught, especially for a novice or someone caught up in an actual down and dirty street fight.

“We know, in reality, the smart thing to do is stay on your feet,” Miller explained.

“If I go to the ground on the streets, there are no mats out there. There’s pavement, there’s gravel, there’s whatever else I’m dealing with. But we don’t know if someone’s going to knock us to the ground. So the reality here is, try to avoid the ground, but if you go to the ground, know what you’re doing, and get up. You’re not going to lay around looking for an arm bar when his buddies, cause you know he has buddies, are going to come up to you and kick your face in.”

Now that’s a reality check. This is the logic behind Ed Parker’s system, and the sort of practical situation in which it was designed to be utilized. There are no referees to break up the fight on the street, except for maybe someone’s steel-toed boot. No one is going to wait around while I make time to execute something fancy, and no one is going to blow the whistle if something isn’t fair.

For the exercise, we fell (carefully) on our bottoms, then assumed a ground position that sort of resembled sitting Indian style, only tilted to our sides. With our feet together, our knees bent, one leg laying on the ground and the other in the air in front of us, we guarded our faces with one hand and rested the other behind and beside us on the ground for support. The benefit of this position was three-fold: it provided stability and protection to all vital areas, made it easy to gain leverage, both for attacks and movement, and allowed for us to get up easily when the time was right.

This was the drill: we were to protect the side of us that was vulnerable to the attacking leg of our ‘opponent’ (if the attacker was to switch legs, then all we needed to do was sort of flop the position over, which was easy to accomplish and another benefit of the position) and when the attacker moved toward us, we would use our legs like springs to push ourselves away. Immediately afterward, we would kick our opponent’s leading leg, immediately pushing ourselves away one more time. Afterward, we would stand back up, but the beauty here is in the details.

While explaining the last portion of the exercise, starting with the kick, Miller asked an important question:

“What if I missed?” What do you mean, miss? You’re a black belt, I thought.You aren’t supposed to miss.

“You see, I look at ‘what ifs,’” Miller asserted. “In Jujitsu, there’s no ‘what ifs.’ In Kenpo, there are.”

Sure, maybe a good black belt like Miller wouldn’t miss, but it was always a possibility. And the cold reality was, a person like me could very well miss. After all, I had just been put in my place by a rubber ball. This, in my experience, is what set American Kenpo apart from other martial arts: it’s willingness to change, to adapt, both to the student and the times, and take the present situation on it’s own terms.

Parker said that comparing a traditional art with a modern one was like comparing checkers with chess. I was beginning to see why; it wasn’t just a blind set of rules to follow, at least not at Miller’s school. There was a real pragmatism to what we were learning, and reasoning behind it. We were encouraged to think about what we were doing and ask questions. Miller likened the evolution of American Kenpo to that of technology.

“Do you still go to the nearest phone booth when you are leaving the grocery store and need to call to check up on your mother, or do you have a cell phone?  You see, as times change, so should the art to fit modern times. American Kenpo is modern and always will be because it is constantly evolving.  Traditional styles never change.  They are taught the same way today as they were hundreds of years ago,” Miller said.

Another facet that distinguishes American Kenpo is that it also allows for the personal expression of each individual. After all, it is a form of art, isn’t it?

“Each Kenpo student who learns the system develops his own unique style and continues to grow the system through his own interpretations, knowledge, and experiences,” Miller said. As a result, Kenpo is not only a style, but it creates styles.

“With Kenpo, we teach you how to think. Don’t listen to what I say and take it as gospel, there’s no such thing. Listen to what I say, think about analyze it, dissect it, put in your own experiences, your own knowledge, your own education, come up with your own ideas; that’s what this is about.”

Miller’s classes are tailored both to the age group they are focused on and to the individual. Before each of the classes I had observed, Miller walked around speaking with each person about their day, and during the lesson, he often helped students personally with each exercise, addressing their needs on a personal basis.

As a former CYS caseworker, he has experience working with children and addressing their needs in addition to his years of teaching Kenpo. His classes are broken into age groups that correlate with child-development stages (Little Dragons, ages 4-6; Kenpo Kids, 7-9; Junior, 10-15; and the adult program), and he tailors his instruction to not only teach Kenpo, but also to improve basic skill sets that each age group is prime for, but with a focus on the art of Kenpo. And you wouldn’t know it watching one of his younger classes; as far as I could tell, they were doing Kenpo the whole time. And as far as they could tell, they were too, and it’s because they were, but they were also developing coordination, their overall health and stamina, respect, dignity, self-control, focus, and as a result, self-esteem.

Basic techniques are taught in every class, regardless of age, and of course all classes focus on physical fitness. However, maybe even more important is the focus on personal character traits that directly relate to the program.

“I teach all my students, regardless of age, to have humility, integrity, dignity, and respect.  I won’t stand for any student disrespecting what I have taught him,” Miller said. “Focus, self-control, self-discipline, respect, kindness, and self-confidence are taught in each program.”

“I’m passionate about what really matters in life,” Miller said. “I believe in being kind to others all the time, doing good deeds, helping those who are weak and doing any community service we can do to make a positive impact on our community. One of our main mottos is ‘Lead by Example, Follow by Choice.’”

And come to think of it, every student there displayed this sort of leadership by example. Everyone was friendly, kind, and respectful, and though there might have been a few laughs when I couldn’t do a single pushup on that ball, there were also plenty of pats on the back and words of encouragement. And as soon as that happened, I wanted to go back and try it again. It seemed to me that that’s what it was all about: getting back up off the ground, because inevitably, we all get knocked to the ground, and getting back on the ball, not because we have to, but because we want to. And when we have the help and encouragement of those around us, we follow by choice.

 

If you’re looking to gain self-confidence, better fitness and well-being, stamina, flexibility, better focus, or maybe you’re looking to improve your overall well-being with a program that will teach you self-discipline and personal integrity, then contact Michael Miller at Miller’s Kenpo Karate Dojo at 443 East Main Street, Suite #1, in Bradford, PA. To schedule a free one on one lesson, you may contact Mr. Miller at (814)368-3725.

By: Andrew Cauley

The Value of Private Lessons

When we join a martial arts school to take on the amazing journey of self-discovery we always have a motive as to why we decided to join.  Maybe we wanted to learn a method of self-protection, or maybe we wanted to build our confidence, or maybe we needed to learn how to focus better?  Aside from what got us in the door we soon find that we reap so many other benefits if we have a good instructor who runs a reputable school.

 

When I joined it was originally because I wanted to be like Chuck Norris. I loved watching his movies when I was young and I wanted to learn how to punch and kick like him.  Of course I had no clue of the many different styles out there and I happened to be lucky enough to get into American Kenpo. I have cross-trained a lot, but American Kenpo is the most street dominant art I have found, but the other systems I have done have made my personal style of Kenpo much better.

 

My journey led me into amazing things and now I am a full-time instructor (and have been since 2006) in a small town and have had great success at helping students become all they are capable of becoming. I’m proud of my students who work extremely hard to reach their full potential.

 

When I was on my original journey, although I had a goal of becoming a black belt, I did not focus on the belts and did not care too much about them.  I was happy when I passed my test for a new promotion, but I was more focused on being the best I could be.  I knew that if I wanted to be the best I was capable of I needed more than just two group classes a week.

 

I practiced at home every night and I enjoyed it. I couldn’t wait to get to my next class to not only learn, but also improve on what I had already learned; again, not for the belts.  They didn’t matter to me and they still don’t.  I knew the belt wouldn’t save my life.  Every street situation I’ve encountered, bully altercation I had, or the times I had to escort people out the door as a bouncer, I didn’t have my belt on me and the belt had nothing to do with the knowledge and skill I had to overcome those situations appropriately and effectively.

 

I’m not saying you shouldn’t work hard at your material for your next belt.  I’m also not saying that the belts have no value or no meaning, because they do.  I’m just saying that you should work on constantly expanding your knowledge and your skill, and if you do, the belts will come with the territory.  Remember, any time you get a higher rank you need to act and look the part.  I have found that the majority never look the part or act the part.  What does this mean?  Usually it means the person is a belt chaser and is too focused on them missing all the important info needed to obtain that status; or the person’s instructor doesn’t have the standards that some others may have and will promote someone as long as the student cuts the instructor a check.

 

I don’t know about you, but if I got my black belt and I couldn’t kick above my knee (especially if it’s in a kicking art), or I got my butt kicked in sparring by under belts, or I was unable to defend myself in a street situation, my opinion is I should not be wearing a black belt.  The truth is, however, just because someone is a black belt doesn’t mean he can fight and it also doesn’t mean she will be successful in a street situation.  It should mean that, but unfortunately it doesn’t.  For me, however, it does mean that and my standards for black belt are pretty high.  With that said, a black belt should also be humble and respectful, and should always look for a different alternative than fighting. What you have in your mind and in your heart are what matters most, however, and a black tangible piece of cloth has nothing to do with that.  Black belt to me is a concept and a mindset that you become, not what you wear.

 

I feel you should set a goal to become a black belt, but to become the best black belt you are capable of becoming.  So how can you take the best step of getting there?  It’s simple – private lessons.  Private lessons give you the one on one time with your instructor so that he can know exactly where you are, assist you with what you need to work on, teach you the material in a timely fashion, constantly assess you and tweak things to allow you to progress promptly and the best of your ability.

 

Some instructors provide 30 minute sessions and some do 60 minute sessions.  Personally, I prefer 30 minutes, because you can get a lot accomplished one on one in 30 minutes.  My suggestion is to try to get at least one private lesson per month.  It will be well worth it.  At my school, I have students who get private lessons once per week, others who get them every other week, others who get them once per month, others who get them once in a while and others who never get them.

 

The truth is my best students get private lessons and usually get them often.  My policy, however, is that no student is allowed to get more than one private per week.  I have only a certain amount of time slots that I want filled throughout each week and I want all my students to be able to have the opportunity for private training if they choose to do so.  If I have a handful of students getting two privates per week, that takes away from someone else wanting to fill a slot.

 

I have always invested in private lessons from my instructors and I still do once in a while.  In fact, I have had the privilege of having private lessons with some of the best and legendary martial artists in the world including the great Joe Lewis and Bill “Superfoot” Wallace among others. Without my private lesson training, I certainly wouldn’t be where I am today.

 

My challenge to you is this: if you are a martial artist and have never had a private lesson, try it.  There is no harm in doing it once to see what it is like.  Of course, if your instructor isn’t a good teacher it won’t matter, but still give it a go and see what you think.

 

About the Author:

Michael Miller is a real world self-defense and personal protection expert who holds a 4th degree black belt in American Kenpo (a modern reality based system of self-defense based on logic and reason), and also teaches boxing, kickboxing, Joe Lewis Fighting Systems, Gracie Barra Jiu-Jitsu, and Modern Arnis. He is also a Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) and boxing trainer/coach. He operates his full-time school, Miller’s Kenpo Karate Dojo, in Bradford, Pa. He is also a writer who has been featured in Inside Kung-fu and Black Belt magazines several times as an authority in his field and is the author of the Legends of Kenpo biography series.  He holds a Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of Pittsburgh in writing with a minor in sociology.  He can be reached by e-mail at michael.miller@millersdojo.com or by phone at 814-368-3725.

 

 

Stomp the Bullying

Bullying is one of the biggest epidemics we face in our society.  Although it’s a major problem for children and young adults, adults also deal with bullying behavior.  The act of bullying encompasses aggressive behavior that is intentional and that involves an imbalance of power or strength. Typically, it’s repeated over time.

 

There are many forms of bullying including: hitting, punching, kicking, pushing, etc. (physical bullying); teasing or name calling (verbal bullying); intimidation using gestures or social exclusion (non-verbal bullying or emotional bullying); and sending insulting messages through e-mail, text messages, facebook, etc. (cyber bullying).

 

Are you aware of this on-going problem?  It’s in the news regularly.  We hear of teenagers committing suicide because of bullying.  Children are haunted by bullying daily and many times it goes unnoticed by parents, teachers, and other authorities.  Other times, it may be noticed, but nothing is done about it.  Only 20% of children who are bullied actually tell their parents.  Parents, I’m sure you have found out that nobody does anything to help your bullied child.  They say they do, but they don’t.  I’ve talked with some parents whose children are being bullied.  They’ve gone through all the proper channels of the school system and nothing is being done.

 

Pennsylvania is among the top five states where bullying is at its highest peak.  The other four include California, New York, Illinois, and Washington.  Statistics show that 160,000 children fear attending school each day because of intimidation and humiliation suffered at the hands of bullies. Bullying causes psychological harm, self-esteem damage and other lasting effects for victims.

 

I, too, have been a victim of bullying.  As a child in Jr. High and High school I was a victim of bullies on some occasions.  I was small and quiet so I had a few bullies pick on me, call me names and sometimes even push me around.  They thought it was funny.  I took a lot of it and I never told anybody at the time.

 

What got me through those bullying situations was my martial arts training.  Most people have a false perception of martial arts.  They think it’s about fighting and teaching kids to fight.  Wrong.  It’s about not fighting.  Yes, we teach children to stand up for themselves and to stand up for what’s right, but we teach them to be kind, to have self-control, self-discipline, respect, focus, and to always do the right thing.  We teach them how to talk themselves out of bullying situations.  Getting physical is ALWAYS last resort and we teach children how to go about that.

 

Because of my martial arts training, I had self-confidence and a healthy self-esteem, so I didn’t let the bullying damage that.  It made me see the situations in a logical frame of mind and not a fantasy frame of mind that produces a distorted perception.  With that said, I was able to ignore it at times and walk away from it at times without it bothering me.  Other times I was able to use verbal Judo to diffuse the situations.  Many bullies went on to someone else because they saw that it wasn’t bothering me.  Bullies look for people who are vulnerable, who are weak.  When they see they are getting to the victim the bullies feel power.  They don’t want to bully people who aren’t bothered by it and who are going to stand up for themselves. There were times where I had to physically protect myself against bullies, but it was always last resort.  When I stood up for myself the bullies left me alone.

 

Since bullying is becoming worse and worse I am stepping up in my community by creating a Stomp the Bullying campaign under the direction of my instructor Sean Kelley (www.seankelley.com) and the Guardian Angels (www.guardianangels.org) where my school Miller’s Kenpo Karate Dojo (www.millersdojo.com) has now become a “martial arts safe place” and official Guardian Angels training facility.  I am creating a volunteer community service program called The Guardian Angels Anti-Bullying Leadership program where I will teach members of our community the importance of servicing our community, how to be good citizens, and how to be good role models.  I will also educate students of this program about all aspects of bullying, and how to handle bullying situations whether they themselves are being bullied or they witness somebody else being bullied.

 

They will learn what bullying really entails, the warning signs of both a bully and someone being bullied, the risk factors, how not to be a target of a bully, common myths about bullying, statistics, and what they can do as citizens to “Stomp the Bullying.”  Also a part of the program will be some self-defense training including awareness, having a logical mindset, verbal Judo, and some physical restraint holds and personal protection methods.

 

This program is a four month program that children ages 7 and up can participate in along with their parents, as well as any adult community member, whether a parent or not.  This program is for children, young adults (teenagers) and adults.  Even if you are an adult who is already well educated in servicing our community we still want you.  The child requirements are to meet during the scheduled times (once per week) at my school Miller’s Kenpo Karate Dojo, do in house community service projects, march in parades, and be good youth role models for members of the society.  You must maintain good grades in school as well.  For adults, your requirements are to meet during the same scheduled times, do local community service projects when we get the opportunity, and be positive role models in our community.  Once the four months is up we will have a graduation ceremony where the children will become Jr. Angels and the adults will become Guardian Angels. Once you become a Guardian Angel you will become leaders for the program, and I will start it all over with new people.

 

My instructor Sean Kelley from Florida who is a 25 year veteran of the Guardian Angels, an International martial arts and self-defense instructor, bodyguard, and is heavy into the security business, will be at my school along with self-defense and tactical firearms instructor Buddy Morrison from Tennessee to assist me with a FREE bullying seminar open to anybody in the community.  This will be held on Friday, May 20, 2011 at Miller’s Kenpo Karate Dojo located at 443 East Main Street in Bradford, Pa from 6:00 – 6:45pm.  We will talk about the program during the seminar for those who are interested.  If you are unable to attend the seminar, but are interested in the program call me at 814-368-3725 or e-mail me at michael.miller@millersdojo.com.

 

About the Author:

 

Michael Miller is a self-defense and personal protection expert who holds a 4th degree black belt in American Kenpo – a modern practical self-defense system, and also teaches boxing, kickboxing, Joe Lewis Fighting Systems, and Gracie Barra Jiu-Jitsu.  He’s an ex caseworker for McKean County Children and Youth Services where he worked with child development, child abuse and neglect, assessing risk, and became certified in the state of Pennsylvania as a Child Welfare Direct Service Worker.  He’s an authority on bullying and how to prevent it and has been featured in Inside Kung-fu and Black Belt magazines numerous times as an expert in his field.

 

 

 

The 12 Rules of Practice

To become good at something it requires an extreme amount of practice.  To become great it requires even more.  Practice can be viewed in many ways, but ultimately it is the repetition of becoming all that you are capable of becoming.  Notice that the professional athletes practice much more than the amateur ones!  It’s vital.  Without proper practice you will not progress in what it is you are trying to achieve. You will never be perfect, but you can make progress everyday.  If you strive for perfection you will fall short.  If you strive for progress you can achieve it.  Give 100 percent effort 100 percent of the time.  No exceptions.

Since I am a martial arts instructor this is what I firmly believe in.  I follow the same code of conduct that I expect out of my students.  I follow everything mentioned above and my students are required to do the same.  Wynton Marsalis wrote the 12 Rules of Practice and I figured for this article I would share that with you.

The 12 Rules of Practice by Wynton Marsalis

1. Seek out private instruction. It could take years to figure out what a good teacher can show you quickly.

2. Write out a Schedule. Include fundamentals always.

3. Set Goals. Chart your development. Challenge yourself.

4. Concentrate. Develop the ability to FOCUS. Do not just ‘go through the motions’.

5. Relax. Practice Slowly.

6. Practice the Hard parts Longer. Confront your deficiencies.

7. Play with Expression. Give yourself over to what you are doing. Do everything with the proper attitude. Do not be a cynic. The attitude you play with is your style.

8. Learn from your Mistakes. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Resolve to improve each day.

9. Don’t Show Off. Expression, not tricks and gimmicks. Showing off misses the point of group playing.

10. Think for Yourself. Respect your teacher, but think things through for yourself.

11. Be Optimistic. How you feel about living is who you are.

12. Look for Connections. The more you find similarities in things that seem different, the greater the world you can participate in.

Taking a Stand on Local Terrorism

This is an interview article I conducted with Guardian Angels’ founder Curtis Sliwa for Inside Kung-fu magazine.  They were about to publish it when they closed their magazine down for good.  Since it didn’t get published there I wanted to share it on my Web site.  It’s a great article about local terrorism and Mr. Sliwa provides some great tips on how to tackle these problems.

Taking a Stand

Guardian Angels Founder Curtis Sliwa Provides Ways to Prevent Local Terrorism

Interview by: Michael Miller

INTRODUCTION:

Violence is an everyday occurrence around the world.  We read it in the newspapers and see it on the news daily. Rapes, murders, kidnappings, school shootings, assaults, and bullying are among the common problems we face as citizens in our communities. Perpetrators lurk the streets, schools, and internet creating havoc and increasing the fear we have for our children’s safety.

Curtis Sliwa has made a serious impact on deterring world violence since 1979 while living in the Bronx and watching his city deteriorate through drug and gang infestations.  He knew he had to do something to clean up his streets, so he took an active approach and created the Guardian Angels—a voluntary, weapon free program to take charge by patrolling the streets and making citizens arrests to create a safer environment.

The Guardian Angels began with thirteen people and has grown immensely over the past thirty years.  Aside from constantly patrolling the streets, the Guardian Angels provide education for everyday citizens to take responsibility for their environment. In this interview Sliwa talks about some of the problems we face and what we as citizens can do as preventative measures.

INSIDE KUNG-FU: Local Terrorism such as bullying, school shootings, gang violence, harassment, assaults, and abductions seems to be happening everywhere.  Can you explain why these kinds of activities occur in our society?

CURTIS SLIWA: I think today, because the way young people are brought up, they are exposed to this at younger and younger ages. There’s less supervision at home; less supervision in the community; so, often times, when they either become a bully or they become a victim, they do so at a much, much younger age and there is no intervention.  Nobody is telling them that’s right, or no it’s wrong.  [These negative behaviors are] also promoted by the culture: the rap videos, the hip hop videos, the videos that they see even from people who are successful in the business world.  They brag about how they bullied their way to the top. Like on the ‘Apprentice’ with Donald Trump. ‘You’re fired’, ‘You’re Fired.’ So they see this from the most successful people; they see this in sports, with people talking trash on the basketball court. So it just begins to affect every aspect of their life. Bullies always seem to become number one second to none and if you give into a bully, and as a victim, you just become a human speed bump.

IKF: How can we as citizens stop people from bullying us, and how can we keep from becoming a bully?

CS: I think in terms of the role modeling effect, human beings in general have to show far more humility.  We’ll call it the agony of defeat and the exaltation of triumph.  Too often now we dance on somebody’s grave; we exalt in their pain and their suffering.  We do this on so many different levels.  We need to understand the young people are absorbing all this so we have to show some humility, we have to be humble; there’s almost none of that around.

Simply at a young age we have to do intervention when we can see that a young person clearly is being affected by outside sources or the dysfunction of the home that they’re coming from. Either so much so they become inhibited, they’ve lost self-esteem, they’re introverted, or they themselves have imitated what they’ve seen and become a bully, because it’s very empowering and very exciting. So either or we have to intervene and we have to enable them to be able to change and yet still feel some of those things that excite young people.  That’s really the trick in all of that.  You know, how do you replace the excitement of being a gang member, a thug, bullying people where they’re very empowering?  You need to find something that is going to replace that and yet help them become a protector instead of a predator.

IKF: What is cyber bullying and what does it entail?

CS: Cyber bullying is just an extension of what we have seen in the school yard; what we have seen in homes across America, in neighborhoods, in parks.   And that is where young people will end up taking advantage of other young people and now can do that anonymously from the comfort of their own room.  In front of their computer or terminal they can take on various aliases, have different e-mail addresses, and now can search the networking sites.  They can literally almost stalk you, whether it’s tweeting on twitter, whether face booking, whether posting messages on message boards and virally sending images out that might be very disturbing in terms of what they are attempting to do to another person. It’s almost like a form of psychological warfare.

Cyber Angels is able to conduct that intervention, bring it to peoples attention, outsource a solution to people who deal with the subject matter—people who deal with both the victims and the bullies of cyber stalking and cyber bullying, and try to remedy it so that it doesn’t happen again; so these same people who are either victim or predator don’t fall into the same set of circumstances that triggered their either negative or passive response to begin with.

IKF: The internet seems to be a critical tool for perpetrators and bullies.  What are some things people can do to prevent their children from being bullied or targeted by these perpetrators online?

CS: First off, the main thing is to have an open line of communication with your child.  You don’t want them to just be a good news bear.  You want them to tell you bad things—the things they see.  The whole concept, if you see it, say it. Encourage the child, because they are facing an extraordinary array of pressures, an extraordinary array of peer group pressure that basically boils down to snitches get stitches and end up in ditches.  The idea is that you don’t rat anyone out.  In fact if you’re a victim, they have so perverted it, if you are a victim of bullying whether it be cyber bullying or regular old fashioned bullying maybe you deserved it because you were a punk, you were soft, you were weak.  So instead of people attempted to escape that, figuring out a way out of it, their believing that they are weak anyway and it’s survival of the fittest.

Naturally online it’s even more difficult, because a lot of parents and grandparents and adults are a dollar short and a day late when it comes to their computer skills and the kids can basically bounce rings around them when it comes to operating on the internet, or even operating on social networking sites or texting, or using any of these wireless technology that’s available.  And that’s the problem; parents, grandparents, young adults, they know about old fashioned bullying, but it’s very difficult for them to get a grip on cyber bullying and that usually impacts on children, girls, women, you know those who are most vulnerable.

IKF: Perpetrators lurk in schools, neighborhoods, streets, subways and the internet.  What can be done to identify these kinds of people and how can we as citizens take a stand?

CS: First off they have to be outed.  They cannot be allowed to remain anonymous.  They cannot be allowed to be able to operate in the shadows.  In fact, many of these bullies, those who become leaders of groups who commit these kinds of violations against humans, whether it’s cyberspace or in the normal realm of streets or neighborhoods, they do so and they get a vicarious thrill about organizing others to go out and do the deed.  They need to be outed.  Obviously, we need to put peer pressure on them and make it completely uncool to do it.  And then because some of them love to be a rebel without a cause and they love to be bad, because bad in their mind, according to the sub culture is good, then there has to be commiserate penalties.

If you’re found guilty of committing these violations you either have to face incarceration, or you’re gonna have to face spending some juvie time, or your gonna have to face some serious consequences that require you to go to counseling and then to reciprocate back to the victims or to the community by doing massive amounts of community service.  So we gotta make their lives miserable.  Right now it’s not.

IKF: It seems that the martial arts have played a key role in Guardian Angels training.  Can you explain your thoughts about the martial arts and the involvement they have had with the Guardian Angels?

CS: The martial arts has been a key when taken from it’s old school ways, which is the influence that I had from watching the seven samurai, which eventually was made into the magnificent seven, an American western that was based on the seven samurai:  Those who could defend themselves, but then offer their services to the defenseless—those who could not defend themselves.  The idea was that if you had these skills, if you were adept in martial arts and self-defense that you would use those skills not just in defense of yourself, but in defense of community and everyone else and not necessarily ask for anything in return; a form of selfless service.

Unfortunately, martial arts in the United States has gotten away from that old concept because in America everything epitomizes the individual—I and me.  They don’t think teamwork—us and we.  I have taken the concept initially that others had carried on, by applying the martial arts to group self-defense; protecting those who cannot defend themselves: the elderly, the women, the children.

Taking it to a whole different level, I would say that was the initial roots; whereas in America martial arts has become for the most part very much I and me.  You’re in the ring.  You’re testing your skill against an opponents’ skill.   And although there’s team competition and you might be part of a dojo or you might be a part of a participatory exercise that involves group techniques, it’s really all about you—all about the individual.  I try to stay away from that.

IKF: What kind of martial arts training do you have Guardian Angels go through?

CS: Because we have groups now in 14 countries and 140 cities, we first find who might be available locally in that community to conduct the training.  We have a set training program that involves the fine things that men, women and young adults have to be able to learn.  Let’s say in the case of Sean Kelley.  Here it is Kenpo.  This is his skill.  He moves to Florida from Pennsylvania.  He’s establishing his credentials in the martial arts world there, but he’s also living in a community that’s experiencing increasing crime.  He comes in voluntarily to offer his service, to volunteer and patrol, but he has the accreditation in Kenpo to actually teach others and after looking at the program and figuring out what in Kenpo we could use to help train the local group.

We allow the martial arts instructor to utilize their own form of martial art, those techniques that might actually be applicable to our training program which is pretty extensive.  It’s got two hundred and thirty six pages.  A lot of it deals with physical self-defense and conditioning and group defense.  But then there are other things like citizens arrest procedures, CPR and first aid, and role playing and simulation.

There are Sean Kelley’s all over the world.  Some of them are accredited in Kung-fu, some are accredited in Jiu-Jitsu, and some have been fighters, boxing and wrestling.  There is no one particular martial art or type of self-defense that is preferred.  What we say is, whatever your proficient in, whatever you are accredited in, as long as you can apply what you know of your particular form of self-defense to the training manual and you’re willing to give the time and supervise the training and be a role model and example, we say go for it.

IKF: The Guardian Angels believe in Inter-activism.  Could you explain this concept?

CS: We’re like an open book.  You want to see what we do, how we do it, feel free to do it at any point.  We don’t prevent people from understanding what we do and how we do it.  We encourage people to get involved and that’s where the interaction takes place.  We don’t care who you are: black, white, Hispanic, Asian, male, female.  Everyone is going to be treated equally.  Clearly we’ll give some people opportunities to participate because they have had problems in the past maybe with drugs or alcohol, or they’ve committed a crime or have been dysfunctional.

We give them an opportunity to rectify all that by becoming a guardian angel member, which is unique because there are a lot of groups who won’t do that.  We want to have partnerships with existing organizations whether it’s a boys club, girls club, social service organization, martial arts academy, we want to have as many partnerships in what communities we have a presence in as possible because we understand we don’t have the answer.  We are just one option in a wardrobe of options that people can have access to if they decide they have had enough and they are going to get involved and they want to fight back and they want to do it within the parameters of the law.

IKF: How can people get involved with the Guardian Angels?

CS: The first thing is they have to go to the website www.guardianangels.org to see if there is an existing chapter in their area around the world in the fourteen countries, one hundred and forty cities.  And if there isn’t then obviously e-mail us about the possibility to begin an effort in establishing the guardian angel move.  Those groups range from areas as diverse as Mexico City (population 20 million) to little rural subjects in Western New Jersey (population 4,000) with no police department. It has nothing at all to do with the size of the community whether it’s a urban area, suburban or rural area, whether it’s in the United States or anywhere in the world.  It’s all about whether there is one person who is going to make the difference.  That’s all we need to start—one man or one woman.  If they’re willing to motivate themselves, do the heavy lifting, carry the efforts forward we will give the tactical air support for that.

IKF: It seems that many people complain about violence, but never want to take an active approach to deter it from happening.  What do you say to these people?

CS: Well they’re paralyzed in fear, apathy and indifference.  They don’t think that their participation in anything is gonna make any difference.  They become very jaded, very skeptical, and I understand.  They are also paralyzed because we live in a society where everyone is afraid of getting sued and losing every nickel, dime and penny.

In thirty one years we have done tens of thousands of physical interventions to break up fights and disputes to send people on their own way and it doesn’t necessitate getting the cops involved.  There’s been thousands of citizens’ arrests where we do get the cops involved because we have to physically detain a suspect and turn him over to law enforcement. And in all those years we’ve never once been sued.  In reality use the skills that you’ve been trained with and stop worrying about litigation or sued or losing every nickel, dime and penny you have, because that’s the kind of paralysis that keeps people from getting involved and making a difference.

About the author:

Michael Miller is an expert in self-defense, personal protection, personal development, and fitness.  He has been involved with martial arts for over twenty years and currently holds a 4th degree black belt in American Kenpo (one of the leading systems of self-defense), and also studies and teaches boxing, kickboxing, Joe Lewis Fighting Systems and Gracie Barra Jiu-Jitsu (no Gi).  He has been featured several times in Inside Kung-fu and Black Belt magazines as an authority in his field.  He runs the only full-time martial arts studio in the history of Bradford, Pa (Miller’s Kenpo Karate Dojo), which is also the only full-time studio in McKean County. He can be reached through his web site at www.millersdojo.com, through e-mail at michael.miller@millersdojo.com or by phone at 814-368-3725.

Kindness – A Deviant Trait?

I’m sure you all know what kindness means.  If not, here is the definition from dictionary.com:

- the state or quality of being kind: kindness to animals.

- a kind act; favor: his many kindnesses to me.

- kind behavior: I will never forget your kindness.

- friendly feeling; liking.

Some synonyms to kindness include: thoughtfulness, consideration, understanding, benevolence, and forbearance.

Deviant is defined as being different, unique or strange.

This article is about kindness and how it seems to be a deviant trait in today’s society.  I do realize that there are some really great people still out there, but due to my personal experiences, it seems that kindness has become odd in today’s world. Being kind should not even be thought about.  It should just be done.  We should be kind to everybody.  It’s obvious that not everybody is going to be kind to us, but it’s important for us to not allow somebody else’s lack of character hinder our own.

As a martial arts instructor, kindness is extremely important in my book.  Although I was always brought up to be kind and thoughtful, the martial arts have assisted me on my journey through life to accomplish that task.  To me, it’s a part of me.  I also want that in my students.  Kindness means everything.  My students learn to be kind verbally, and to due random acts of kindness.

I will share two personal stories with you that shocked me.  The first one occurred several months ago.  I was walking into the local country fair.  As I approached the glass door I could see that a woman–probably in her mid-forties–was approaching the door from the inside, which immediately told me that she was on her way out.  As a normal thing that I do everyday, I pulled the door open for her and waited for her to come out before I went in.  She walked through the door with a smile on her face and said, “Thank-You!” I said, “You’re Welcome!”

After she walked through the door and I was about to head in, she stopped walking, turned around and said, “You know, there aren’t very many people around like you!”  I said, “Isn’t it sad?”  She agreed.  Just the simple kind act of holding a door for this woman really made her day.  I was shocked.  It was just a simple act of kindness.

My second story has to do with another normal act of kindness on my part.  At least three times per week I go to my favorite place to eat lunch in my hometown (Bradford, Pa), Togi’s restaurant.  Togi’s has great people, great service, and awesome food.  The best soups I have ever tasted.  While there about two months ago, this distraught couple came into the place.  They had to be upper thirties, lower forties in age.  They came from out of town and needed to make an emergency phone call.  Because Togi’s doesn’t have long distance, they couldn’t use the phone their.  This couple was clearly stressed and didn’t know what to do.

I told them that they could use my cell phone.  They could not believe that I was going to do that for them.  They thanked me profusely, made the call, and offered to buy me a drink.  I told them no thank you.  They asked if they could at least pay me a few dollars for doing this.  Once again, I declined.  I told them that I was just doing what everybody else in the world should do–help out someone in need.  They then ate lunch and as they were eating, my phone rang.  The person they had called needed to talk with them so I walked over handed them the phone and after a five minute conversation, the fellow gave me my phone back and apologized for that person calling my phone.  I told him it was not an issue and to have a great day.  They still insisted on doing something for me, even to the point to where they were trying to get the waitress to convince me to allow them to do something.

I look at this situation as being sad, because clearly, they arenot used to kind people.  They did tell me that they asked three different people to help them and they were all rude.  I offered–they didn’t ask.  I think it’s pathetic that everybody automatically feels obligated to give something in return when a kind deed is done.  I know it’s natural to feel that way, but true kindness comes from not wanting anything in return.

I challenge you to open your heart to being kind all the time, if you are not already.  Kindness can change the world, but it starts with you.

“If you haven’t any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.”  ~Bob Hope

“Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping him up.”  ~Jesse Jackson

“It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.”  ~Author Unknown

“Today, give a stranger one of your smiles.  It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. ” ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

“Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are.”  ~Author Unknown

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.  If you want to be happy, practice compassion.  ~Dalai Lama

About the Author:

Michael Miller is an expert in self-defense, personal protection, personal development, and fitness.  He currently holds a 4th degree black belt in American Kenpo (one of the leading systems of self-defense), and also studies and teaches boxing, kickboxing, Joe Lewis Fighting Systems and Gracie Barra Jiu-Jitsu.  He has been featured several times in Inside Kung-fu and Black Belt magazines as an authority in his field.  He can be reached through his web site at www.millersdojo.com, through e-mail at michael.miller@millersodjo.com or phone at 814-368-3725.

Building Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is vital in our lives.  Our confidence in ourselves dictates how we walk, talk, and act.  It is an important element to our success in life.  Self-confidence deals with whether or not we believe in ourselves.  Do we believe we CAN accomplish the things we are out to accomplish, or do we have doubts for some reason or another?

“Recent studies (Peixe, 2009) show that self confidence is something you act on, not something you learn. There are a number of practical exercises that are said to help anyone achieve the level of belief that allows them to take action and pursue their objectives.”  — wikopedia site

Building self-confidence is about action, as stated in the above paragraph.  If you feel you need better confidence in yourself, this article will help you.  Here is a little write up from the site: www.confidencemanual.com

People who are self confident are those who acknowledge their capacity to do something and then proceed to do these things. They do not rely on the approval of other people in order to affirm their existence. It is enough that they know they have the capacity and the potential to do something, and the guts to do it no matter what others may say. People who are self confident take advantage of the opportunities that comes their way.

Lack of self confidence is not proportional to a person’s abilities. In fact, there are people who are extremely talented and able but they lack self confidence to show these abilities.

If you are wanting in self confidence, then you must continuously do things that will help you gain confidence.

Identify your strengths and weaknesses and capitalize on that. Make full use of your strength and gather positive points. This will help you gain self confidence. Do not expect everything to be perfect because you are bound to do something wrong along the way. Nobody is perfect and everyone is culpable of making mistakes.

Acknowledge your abilities and talent and take stock of them. Do not under estimate yourself. Try to recognize every little thing you have done which has become successful. Try to learn a new skill, and try to learn new things as this will make you a better person.

Look for things that make you feel good about yourself. It can be photos of past achievements like when you won a race or won a debate; it can be a poem you wrote which was published in a book. Concentrate on things that you have achieved and take it from there. This will give you more confidence to do other things in life.

Developing self confidence is not easy especially if you do not think highly of yourself. If you want to be self confident, avoid things that will discourage you from gaining confidence. Do not dwell on past mistakes or failures because it will make you feel insignificant. Being a defeatist will not give your confidence a boost.

Better yet, concentrate on the positive things that you have done and accomplished and make them your inspiration. In time, you will have more faith in yourself, and hopefully, more confidence.

Here is a great article I found on pickthebrain.com.  It’s written by the editor.

10 Ways to Instantly Build Self-Confidence

1. Dress Sharp

Although clothes don’t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently, wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the latest styles.

This doesn’t mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is “spend twice as much, buy half as much”. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes. Buying less also helps reduce the clutter in your closet.

2. Walk Faster

One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? tired? painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.

3. Good Posture

Similarly, the way a person carries herself tells a story. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self confidence. They aren’t enthusiastic about what they’re doing and they don’t consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you’ll automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You’ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.

4. Personal Commercial

One of the best ways to build confidence is listening to a motivational speech. Unfortunately, opportunities to listen to a great speaker are few and far between. You can fill this need by creating a personal commercial. Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite it in front of the mirror aloud (or inside your head if you prefer) whenever you need a confidence boost.

5. Gratitude

When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can’t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum. You’ll be amazed how much you have going for you and motivated to take that next step towards success.

6. Compliment other people

When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.

7. Sit in the front row

In schools, offices, and public assemblies around the world, people constantly strive to sit at the back of the room. Most people prefer the back because they’re afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self confidence. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence. You’ll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room.

8. Speak up

During group discussions many people never speak up because they’re afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear isn’t really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.

9. Work out

Along the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you’re out of shape, you’ll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By working out, you improve your physcial appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.

10. Focus on contribution

Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.

[end article]

Follow these steps and you will build your self-confidence instantly and can enjoy a healthier, happier life.  Keep in mind that children need to be confident so be sure to educate your children in how to do so.  One of the things to build confidence mentioned in the article was working out.  One of the best forms of working out is martial arts.  Martial Arts build confidence quicker and better than anything else.  It’s been proven time and time again.

Remember, actions produce confidence!

Michael Miller

www.millersdojo.com

michael.miller@millersdojo.com